


Misery Loves Company

by TribalVipe



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alternate Universe, Chance Meetings, F/M, Post-Break Up, Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-04-18 01:38:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14202201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TribalVipe/pseuds/TribalVipe
Summary: He was left at the altar. She was dumped after a thirteen hour shift. A chance meeting in Maui brings two people together who met before their time. Barson. AU.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Look, I have a problem. I know I have all these WIPS that people are waiting on, but when inspiration hits, it HITS HARD. This is an AU. So, I hope you guys enjoy and don't worry, I'm still working hard on my other ongoing fics right now. They'll be updated soon. I don't own SVU or its characters. ENJOY.

He was really doing this.

After staring miserably at the empty right side of a hotel bed last night, he was really doing this.

He looked down at the boarding pass in his hand and walked slowly behind the line of people entering the plane. His carry-on felt heavy in his hand and he already had the seat number memorized. The one beside it would be completely empty.

Rafael Barba tried in vain not think about that. He tried to think about this twelve-hour long flight and the fact that he was going to be sitting next to a vacant seat where his fiancé, or would be wife, was supposed to be.

Being left at the altar was embarrassing. Spending his entire honeymoon, that he paid for with his lawyer salary alone, was even more so. All those stupid little honeymoon surprises he opted in for were going to go to waste. The bouquets of flowers that were going to be there when he arrived would go in the trash, and he was most definitely going to tear that framed picture of them into tiny little pieces and burn them with one of the candles that would be sitting around the whirlpool tub, waiting to be lit for a romantic, candle lit, couples bath.

What a fucking joke.

He tried not to feel so damn sad and depressed, but it wasn't working. He drank all through the night, ignored all those pleading text messages from his friends and his mother to talk to them, to let them know he was going to be ok, in favor of trying to get rid of the pain in his chest. He woke that morning not feeling much better, but at least the massive hangover he had was causing him to look more angry and bitter, rather than heartbroken.

He felt his phone buzz in his pocket and he pulled it out, immediately greeted with the sight of Yelena lighting up his screen. He read the text message from his mother, whom he finally text back that morning, explaining what he was doing. She didn't like that he was going to go on the trip, but she understood his need to leave the city behind, at least for an entire week. He would take advantage of this trip, since it was already paid for and non-refundable.

Who knew. Maybe he wasn't completely lying to himself by saying this week would be long enough to heal his broken heart and the memory of being left standing at the altar, his best man and his bride-to-be, gone in the limousine they were supposed to take to the reception hall after the ceremony.

No…no, this week wouldn't be enough. It was going to take a long while. But, hell, while he was in Maui, he might as well drink enough to force himself to sleep every night and gain ten pounds right along with it.

* * *

Liv did her best not to think too hard about the empty seat beside her.

She was so stupid…

She really thought he was it. She really thought he was the right one for her. After searching high and low for so many years, she finally met and fell in love with Brian Cassidy. He took her by surprise and made her his. Charmed her and showed her just how it felt to be loved by the right man.

Or, she thought.

Olivia Benson wasn't perfect. She had skeletons in her closet. She had done things in her past, in her career, that were morally questionable, but she was a good person. She loved her job, helping victims of sexual assault and abuse. It brought her comfort. It brought her peace, knowing the more scum she scraped off the streets the better the people of Manhattan could rest.

She thought Brian knew this, too. She thought he had accepted that her job was the biggest part of her life. For a while, she thought he did, at least. And she would admit, the last few months had been a little hard on both of them. Between both of their careers and the less time they got to spend together, she could feel them drifting apart. No matter how much she tried to make up for it with homemade dinners and surprise shower sex in the mornings before work, it didn't seem to close the divide that was growing more and more each day between them.

She tried to hold back tears as she stared down at her phone screen. It was a picture of Brian and her, cuddled close together on the couch in their living room. It was taken last year, and it had been on her phone screen ever since. It was a much happier time between the two of them, when they weren't arguing about canceled plans or bringing work home with them. Back when they were together, and not exes.

Liv tried her best to keep the stinging tears at bay, locking her phone again and staring at her reflection in the black screen as people boarded the plane. It was embarrassing, sitting alone with an empty seat beside her, in a row meant for two people. He was supposed to be there with her. It was a trip that was supposed to mend whatever was breaking between the two of them, but it was all for naught.

He would be done moving his things out by the time she got to Maui, where she would hole herself up in her hotel room for the first day and then sit in the bar in the resort all the rest. An entire week away from the city, on a trip meant for two lovers…

Two days ago, when they had that heart wrenching break-up talk, she couldn't dream of rolling out of bed and packing her bags. She was content to let her money go to waste, just like he was, until Nick and Fin and Amanda managed to talk her into going. She had wrinkled her nose at her co-worker's suggestion, but the more she thought about when she got home to an empty apartment that night, the more she agreed.

The city could do without Olivia Benson for a week. It was going to need her when she came back, but until then, she needed to get away and enjoy the sun and the sand and all that other shit that happened on vacations that she was too sad to even think about right now.

* * *

Rafael had just sat down in his seat when someone cleared their throat.

He looked over at the blonde guy, who smiled nervously at him and waved his boarding pass between him and a woman, standing by the seat that was diagonal from him. Rafael bit back an annoyed sigh, already knowing what their predicament was.

"Hi pal," the man started and Rafael inhaled through flared nostrils, "My girlfriend-oh, wait, I mean new wife," he gushed and the woman next to him giggled. Rafael wanted to throw up but he managed to quirk an eyebrow and plaster a forced, fake smile on his face. "We bought our tickets at the last minute and unfortunately, we didn't get seated together. We were wondering, since it looks like neither of you have people with you, if you could possibly trade us a seat so we could sit together? I know it's last minute and you probably don't want to move, but we would really appreciate it if you could."

Rafael licked his lips and stood, waving his hand around instead of confirming that it was ok with him. The couple blinked as he moved past them, shoulder bumping the man without care and waited for them to slip into his now vacant seat.

"Thank you so much," the woman said excitedly, "We really do appreciate it!"

Rafael looked at her for a second before rudely turning away and slipping into the seat next to some woman, who gave him a dirty look through glassy eyes. He shot her a mean look back just as the flight attendant came over the intercom with a painfully cheery voice.

"You're sitting on my magazine," the woman said suddenly, her voice low and eyes narrowed. Rafael sat up and grabbed it, nearly hitting her in the face with it when he swung it in her direction. He felt bad when she flinched and snatched it out of his hand, but that quickly went away when she called him an asshole, rather loudly, capturing the attention of the surrounding passengers who were listening intently to the woman at the front of the plane.

Rafael tuned her out and slipped in some earbuds, attaching them to his phone. He could care less in that moment if the plane plunged into the side of the mountain and they all went up in flames. At least it would stop the absolute sadness he felt when he saw Yelena's face on his phone screen again.

Liv managed to fall asleep only an hour into the flight, the exhaustion she felt from a sleepless night and a marathon crying session allowed her to. Normally, she wasn't one to sleep on planes, but she found the rocking motion of the slight turbulence knocked her out rather quickly, and long enough that when she was forced to open her eyes by a passing flight attendant, they were descending into Maui.

Liv yawned and opened her eyes, realizing she had been resting her head on the man's shoulder who shoved her magazine at her earlier. She lifted herself up and away, locking eyes with his sleepy and disgruntled ones. She crinkled her nose and lifted the blanket away from her body, quickly folding it and setting it down by her feet. She was a little mortified that she had snuggled up next to some random stranger she didn't know, especially one so damn ornery and angry, but then again, he seemed to have fallen asleep on her as well.

Besides, she was too distracted by the dreams she had the entire time she was out. Dreams of Brian. Of good memories shared between them, when they thought they were it for each other. She could feel another wave of tears threatening to spill down her cheeks, but she choked it down and kept a straight face as she buckled her seat belt and the blue ocean that spread for miles and miles and far beyond met her eyes.

She chose to marvel at how small the surrounding islands looked from up above, instead of the impending sense of dread building in her stomach. She was officially there for an entire week, by herself, in a room meant for two. She bit her lip and set back in her seat, bringing her phone up to her face to look at the picture on the screen.

She needed to change it. She knew that. But every time she had tried within the past few days to do it, her fingers didn't seem to want to move. Every time she opened up her pictures and scrolled through the hundreds she had snapped of him and her together, or just him, to find one a stock image with some random color on it, she ended up closing it and leaving it there. It was almost as if her mind wanted her to suffer.

But, she knew that wasn't the case. She was going to have to move-on and get over this and let three years swirl down the tubes where it had inevitably been going for a long time. Knowing this didn't make it any easier.

She glanced over at the man seated next to her and caught sight of his phone screen, seeing a dark-haired woman smiling at the camera. When she looked up at his face and saw the despair there, Olivia knew she wasn't alone in her hurt. She could spot that look anywhere. She had been wearing it for two days herself.

She looked away and back out at the window, seeing the island grow bigger and bigger until they finally touched down.

* * *

Rafael immediately hated how it felt to be here.

He had envisioned this day a lot, back when the wedding planning was still going on. He had always wanted to go to Hawaii. It was the perfect honeymoon destination, and he had insisted on it the moment the topic was brought up. Yelena seemed on board with it, and agreed with how it was the perfect place to go, seeing as how they were both warm-blooded Cubans who thrived in hot weather and lived for the sandy beaches and palm trees.

He scoffed at it now. Fuck the hot weather. He would rather be in his bed, in his apartment, under the covers with a scotch while it was cold and rainy and dreary outside his bedroom window. He didn't want to be in the happy, warm sun, watching all the other newlyweds running around, taking pictures and feeding each other off their plates at restaurants.

He managed to bypass getting one of those god-awful leis as he exited the plan and he walked as fast he could out of the airport and hopped into a waiting cab, lined along the sidewalk in hopes of picking up a passenger and making some money.

"You hear alone?"

Rafael chose to ignore the driver's question and settled down into his seat, rubbing his temples. He could feel a headache beginning to brew under the surface, and it was the type that was going to put him down the rest of the night if he didn't get any sort of medication in him. He was half-tempted to let it.

"No spouse? No children?"

The man was big and burly and had a huge grin on his face, trying to make friendly enough conversation for a bigger tip, he was sure. He didn't take the bait, though. All he wanted to do was get to his hotel room, clean all that lover's shit up and fall into bed. After, of course, he called his mother who demanded to let her know when he made it there safely. He wasn't stupid enough to not call her, either. She would fly down to Maui herself and track him down just to make sure he was safe, especially after that shit show of a wedding.

Really, he owed his mother a lot. After he all but fled the church as soon as he found out Yelena and Alex took off, Lucia Barba took charge and worked everything out for him. She apologized for the inconvenience, fielded all of those apologies from the guests who were there to see a wedding, and called to cancel the caterer, the DJ, and everything else they had ordered for the big day.

God, he didn't even want to think about it. His poor mother had looked at him with such heart ache, hands over her chest and a sad, sad tear slipping down her cheek when she realized what happened. It was a look he never wanted to see from her again, for as long as he lived. He prayed to God he wouldn't.

The driver had given up on small talk and a good tip and as soon as they pulled up to the Four Seasons Maui Resort, Rafael booked it with his luggage to the check-in desk. Thankfully, there wasn't a line and he was up in his hotel room within minutes of arriving.

He cringed at the sight of rose petals trailing from the door to the bed, where they were spread out in the design of a big heart. In the middle sat a framed picture of the two of them, the one they both liked the best and what he chose to be there as a surprise for when they arrived. He reached over and grabbed it, shoving the entire thing into the dark wood nightstand that stood next to the bed, with a few unlit candles on top.

Rafael pushed his bags onto the big sofa in the seat area and flipped on the flat screen, needing some sort of background noise in the room. He had slept for the past four years with Yelena's stupid fucking white noise machine blaring in his ear when he would stay at her place, and it had, in turn, made him need some sort of soft noise at all times when he was at his apartment alone.

He ignored the happy voice of the woman listing all the amenities the hotel had to offer and, instead, kicked off his shoes and headed straight for the mini-bar. He had a feeling he was going to have an outrageously large bill by the time he checked out.

After having filled a tumblr with more scotch than was necessary, he dialed his mother and sat back on the bed, feeling his tense muscles start to relax a little into the soft, fluffy mattress. His nerves were frayed and even though he slept on the plane (cuddled next to that woman for some reason), he could feel his eyes start to droop and sleep pull at the corners of his consciousness. He was going to definitely sleep, but not before he could speak with his mother and try and assure her somewhat.

She picked up on the second ring and her voice was filled with worry.

" _Rafi? Did you make it there ok?"_

"I'm fine, mamí. I'm here."

" _Oh Rafi, I still don't think it was a good idea to go by yourself, sweetheart. After everything…"_

He sighed, "Mamí, I just need some time to myself. I'm hurt and embarrassed and I just…want to be alone right now. I know you wanted me to stay with you for a little bit but that's going to do nothing but cause fights between us and that's the last thing I want."

" _I know mi hijo. I just want to make sure you're going to be ok. Your heart is broken and it's not easy to fix."_

"Thanks for the encouragement."

" _That bitch…she better hope she never runs into me again. I'll give her something to run away from!"_

"Jesus, mom, calm down. Just…drop it, please. I don't want to talk about it anymore. I just want to go to sleep."

" _I'm sorry, honey. Alright, I'll let you get some rest, ok baby? I love you. Call me later on tonight."_

"I will. I promise. I love you, mom. Thanks for everything."

" _I love you, too, honey."_

He hung up and dropped his phone down on the other side of the bed, settling into the pillows and falling asleep almost immediately.

* * *

Liv tried and failed to find the beautiful architecture of the hotel interesting as she traveled through it and towards the front desk.

It took a while the get out of the airport, having trouble finding her luggage and then, getting caught in a line of people waiting for taxi's and shuttle buses to take them to their destinations. It did nothing to improve her mood, but, it did change her sadness into full blown anger at the situation. She was somewhat grateful for that.

Anything to not feel so incredibly sad anymore, she would take.

"Checking-in. Benson."

The young woman behind the desk cheerily tapped away and for a second, she wondered if everyone around her seemed so cheery just because she was so sad. It seemed highly unlikely that everyone was this happy all the time down here, but then again, she lived in Manhattan, where some of the rudest people lived and breathed, so that could be it. Or, she was just that sad. It was hard to tell.

"You have the suite?"

Liv nodded, memories flooding back of the excitement she had when she had booked that suite. It was the last one left and she snagged it up, thinking about how nice it was going to be to have such a big, luxurious space to themselves. Now, it was just going to be her.

Fuck, this was getting harder instead of easier.

"Enjoy your stay!"

"Thanks," she replied sullenly and walked through the hotel until she reached the bank of elevators. Her mood only worsened when she ended up loading the elevator with two couples, all four-people talking excitedly about their weddings and how in love they were and blah, blah, blah, bullshit. She nearly ran out of the elevator as soon as the door opened and she found her room quickly, not far from the ice machine.

When she entered, she didn't bother to look around. She just dropped her luggage on the couch and sifted through it to find fresh underwear and her sleep shirt. She studiously ignored the lingerie set she had stashed away in there just weeks before they left. She wanted to surprise Brian with it, but that wouldn't be happening. It wouldn't be happening for anyone in a very long time, because she was done with relationships now.

Officially done. No more. She promised herself, as she stepped under the hot spray of water in the large shower of the bathroom. She was done with men and their bullshit and all the heartache her relationships always ended in. She wanted no part of it anymore.

From this moment forward, she was content to be single for the rest of her life.

And that was a lie, she knew it. Deep in the back of her mind, she was still hopeful that Brian would see the error of his ways and beg for her back and she would go to him, because she still loved him with her everything. It was a little pathetic and she hated that, but it was how she felt. It was how she probably would always feel. In love with a man who didn't love her back.

Story of her fucking life.

She spent more time than actually necessary under the hot water before she stepped out and changed into sleep clothes. It was nearing dinner time in Maui, but she didn't have the energy to go down to the hotel restaurant and sit alone at a table and eat food made for one. She had a mini bar which she planned to break into for a nice glass of wine, and it more than likely had some bagged peanuts or chocolate she could munch on before she passed out again.

But first, she needed to call Fin. He had been worried about her the most, knowing her the longest and he made her promise to call him when she landed. She waited until she was under the covers in her big, nice bed with her wine and a bag of dried fruit, the television playing softly in the background, to call him.

"Please tell me the city is still standing."

" _Believe it or not, it is. How's Maui? As beautiful as it is in the brochure?"_

"From what I've seen of it so far, yeah. Doubt I'll see that much more of it from my hotel room."

" _Ah, don't be like that Liv. Go out and sight see. Enjoy yourself. Forget about that asshole and live a little."_

"Easier said than done…"

" _Yeah. I know."_

"Have you heard from him at all?"

" _No and I don't want to. Dumb ass made the biggest mistake of his life."_

Liv cracked a smile hearing that. Fin always had her back. "I was certainly no help when it came down to it, you know."

" _I don't believe it. Cassidy's an idiot. We all know it. Amaro's glad you two broke up but he promised me not to tell you that."_

She laughed now, "I'm not surprised."

" _It's good to hear you laugh. It's been a while."_

The smile fell from her face. She agreed. "Yeah. It has been. But, I'm going to let you go. I have a date with a glass of wine and the local news."

" _Seriously, Liv. Get out and have fun. We want to see you tan and happy when you come home."_

"I'll try. I'll talk to you later."

Liv set her phone on the nightstand and burrowed back into the pillows, finishing off her glass of wine in record time and didn't even bother to open the packet of dried fruit. Instead, she turned off the lights in the room and fell asleep to the sound of the television.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm glad you guys seem to like this fic! This is going to be a fairly short fic, so I'm aiming for no more than five chapters. In any case, here's the next installment. I hope you like! I don't own SVU or its characters. ENJOY.

Rafael didn't wake up till nearly six in the morning the next day.

The sun was peeking through the drawn shades and the television had shut off sometime during the night, leaving him to wake up to a silent room. For a moment, he wanted to reach over and stoke Yelena's side, but then he remembered that she wasn't there, and instead, only his phone occupied the vacant side of the bed.

He sighed and threw the covers over his head, wanting to go back to sleep that wouldn't come for him just yet. He had slept longer than he ever had before and his body was begging him to get up and feed it.

He went about showering, brushing his teeth and slipping on fresh clothes, taking extra time to do all three while he read through some of the texts that had piled up overnight and while his phone was on airplane mode during the flight. He hated seeing all the apologies and sad face emoji's from colleagues and friends and family, even a few from Yelena's side, but at the same time, it made him feel slightly better, knowing that so many people felt for his situation.

One of those texts, though, came from one person he hated with a fiery passion at that very moment. His name appeared on his screen and he wanted to throw and break his phone into a million pieces. Preferably, on the man's head himself.

Alex Muñoz had the gall to text him and explain that he was sorry and how they didn't know what was happening between them until it was too late. It was a bullshit excuse. He knew, because Eddie had confessed to having found out about Alex and Yelena a little over a year ago, when the he caught the two out on a date, holding hands and kissing like they were teenagers.

Rafael was pissed at Eddie as well, partially blaming the man for all of this. Had he known, he never would have proposed to Yelena, and wouldn't be going through this shit now. He was sure his anger towards Eddie would fade over time, but for right now, he wanted nothing to do with the three of them.

All three…he'd known all three for almost the entirety of his life and this was how it ended between all of them? His girlfriend runs off with his best friend and his other best friend knew about the whole time?

Fucked. It was totally and completely fucked and Rafael was still reeling from it.

He shoved his phone in his pocket after deleting the messages he didn't want to see and left his room, ready to shove a bunch of unhealthy foods down his gullet so he could go back up to his hotel room and lay around and surf the internet on his phone.

He couldn't work. He had all his cases taken over and covered by various other ADA's as a wedding present, leaving him with absolutely nothing to look over. At the time they offered, he was ecstatic. On cloud nine.

He would have seven days of uninterrupted time with his wife.

Yeah. Right.

He rolled his eyes to himself as he made his way through the breakfast buffet, grabbing anything sweet and fatty he could slam down quick. Donuts, muffins, and bacon, with a nice cup of black coffee to wash it down was his first meal of the day, and he loved every bite of it. He ignored everyone around him, eating at tables filled with three or more people while he sat lonely at one.

He did look up every so often to see what was going on around him, because he didn't like to be completely unaware. He spotted the woman from the plane on one of his go arounds and stopped when he saw how she leaned her head in her hand and pushed around some pieces of fruit on her plate, looking so utterly sad it was ridiculous.

She was the picture of pathetic, but Rafael commiserated with her silently. He probably didn't look much better, shoving food in his mouth to compensate for the heart ache he still felt in his chest. He instantly felt bad for how he behaved on the plane looking at her now. It was obvious she was going to through something, too. Sitting alone, eating in a hotel buffet, and looking that sad?

Someone must have broken her heart, too.

* * *

Liv decided to heed Fin's advice and left the resort with a little paper pamphlet in her hands, listing all the fun activities to do close to the hotel.

She had a canvas bag filled with sunscreen, a change of clothes and all her important items she needed at all times. She was prepared for the beach already, her swim suit hidden under the yellow and white floral sundress she chose to wear for the day. It was comfortable and so were her sandals, just in case she wanted to hit that hiking tour later on, but it was quickly becoming ruled out the more and more she looked at the endless blue ocean.

It was still very early in the morning, though, and so she decided she would set up camp and wait for the beach to formally open and the weather to heat up so she could take a dip. She had a book stowed away in her bag as well, so she could get some uninterrupted reading time. That was a luxury she hadn't had in a while. Reading something that didn't belong to a witness or a crime scene was suddenly a luxury.

She briefly thought about hitting the aquarium and learning to scuba or surf in the waves. But, those were all couple's activities as far as she was concerned. Had Brian been there with her, she would be dragging him to all these places, she just knew it. He would act like he wasn't interested, but he would be. He would be having fun and they would be together and she would be glad to be here, instead of wallowing in self-pity and lost love.

God, she was starting to sound pathetic. Even to her own mind, where only these thoughts existed. If her friends back home heard her talking like this, she didn't even want to think what they would do. Set her up on some blind date, probably. They were those kinds of people.

She quickly walked down to the beach, where her hotel had private access and set up camp a little way away from the people starting to join her. Beach days started early in Hawaii, she guessed, which was fine with her. She just hoped she stayed somewhat secluded so she could her book in peace. Also, she didn't want people seeing the cover, because it was definitely some corny romance novel that she'd been working through for two months now.

The last thing she needed was to look some pathetic, single woman, sitting on a beach and living vicariously through a female heroine.

* * *

Rafael grew bored enough in his room to venture out of his room to check out the beach that was drawing quite the large crowd from the resort. The white sands were filled with people in swim suits, tanning and playing in the waves. A few surfers far out in the water caught his eye, but he didn't watch for long. All he wanted was a change of scenery and to maybe get some sun so he didn't look like he cowered away in his room with his tail between his legs all week.

He came to a stop farther down the beach and picked a random spot that wasn't nearly as crowded. It was past the safe zone bars, so no swimmers were directly in front of his view of the ocean, which was fine with him. He had little interest in getting wet.

He looked around and spotted the same woman from the plane and from breakfast earlier, intensely reading a book. She was cross legged and leaning over it, her mouth moving somewhat frantically with the words. After a few seconds, she quickly flipped a page and gasped a little and he couldn't help but chuckle.

He went about setting up his towel and slipping off his flip flops, sighing when his phone started to vibrate again. He'd been texting back and forth with his mother all day after she told him she was spending the day with his grandmother, and most of the questions he was receiving were coming from his grandmother herself, whom he would never disrespect by not answering.

He felt a little better, knowing she was checking up on him. His grandmother had been a huge influence in his life and a protector from his father, when the man would get drunk and angry with him. Knowing she was concerned about his well-being was making things a little easier on him.

He answered what felt like the thirtieth question in under an hour and was about to sit down when he happened to look up at the woman with whom he shared a hotel with and saw two young men, sneaking up behind her. They were crouched in the sand, and one of them was reaching for her canvas bag.

Rafael straightened and shouted 'hey!' at them, grabbing the woman's attention. The kid in the front leapt forward and landed on the bag, feet scrambling to try and get up to get away, but the woman dropped her book and leapt on top of him, jabbing on of her knees into the back of his neck and bringing one of his arms around his back, stretching it to try and restrain him. The other kid had taken off in a hurry, but Rafael rushed over to her to see if she needed any help.

"No, I'm alright. Trying to steal my stuff you little shit head?"

The kid stuttered over his words, "No! No ma'am! I swear! Please don't call the cops! I don't wanna get in trouble! I'm sorry, I won't ever do it again!"

Rafael looked around, prepared to try and wave over one of the many lifeguards posted to their positions, but there was no need. The woman had stood and helped the boy out of the sand, with a firm hand clasped on his shoulder. Rafael furrowed his brow at her.

"Don't let me catch you going anywhere near anyone else's bags on this beach or I'll have you arrested, understand?"

The kid nodded, looking somewhat scared. He was ready to go and the woman slipped her hand off his shoulder. He backed up quickly and apologized again, nearly tripping over his own two feet to get the hell out of there.

"And go read a book! Learn something!"

She shook her head and leaned down to brush some sand off her bare legs and sundress she was wearing. Rafael gestured towards the kid who just took off, like she was crazy.

"You're just going to let him go?"

"He's just a kid. Being stupid."

"Yeah, but he tried stealing your stuff. That's an offense punishable by law."

"What are you, a lawyer?"

"Actually, I am," he crossed his arms hearing her sarcastic retort. She looked at him, slightly surprised but then scoffed and waved him off.

"No wonder I don't like you. Cops usually don't get along with lawyers all that well."

"What, you're a cop?"

"A detective."

"Well that explains why I find you insufferable."

"You don't even know me."

"You don't know me either."

They both stood staring at each other for a few more seconds before Rafael eventually gave in and held out his hand. She took it after a second and shook it. He smiled a little at her and she did back.

"I'm Rafael."

"I'm Olivia. Liv, for short."

He nodded at her, "Nice to meet you. I know we got off on the wrong foot. I'd like to apologize for being an asshole on the plane. I've had…a bad couple of days."

Liv looked at him and pushed some hair back behind her ear, nodding as well. "I'm sorry I wasn't so nice either. And that I fell asleep on your shoulder. I haven't had the best couple of days either."

An awkward silence stretched between them, and Rafael finally cleared his throat when the sound of his phone buzzing in his pocket prompted him to speak. He gestured towards the resort, where the outside bar was probably open and serving drinks now.

"Can I buy you a drink?"

Liv closed her eyes and shook her head, "Look, I'm not trying to really- "

"Oh, no! No, that's not-no. I'm not trying to like, hit on you or anything."

"Oh," she said. Her cheeks grew a little red, "Sorry. I'm just…not into that thing right now, you know."

"I know. Trust me. It's the last thing I want to think about. I just want to make up for being such a jerk. Besides, if you're past couple of days have been as bad as mine…I figured you could use a drink, too."

"So, you want to compare stories and see who's had a shittier experience?"

Rafael shrugged his shoulders, "Sounds like fun, yeah?"

After a moment, she smiled at him and shoved her book into her canvas bag, "Yeah. It does."

* * *

The outdoor bar sat directly by the pool, which was already pretty crowded, but luckily, it had seats that wrapped all the way around and quite a few were open. They chose two spots in the shade and ordered. He got a scotch, which he was probably an avid drinker of, and she stepped out of her comfort zone and ordered something strong and fruity.

It came with a little umbrella, which amused her slightly and she sipped the frozen drink while the both sat in silence and people watched. She tried focusing on the hunky lifeguard sitting in his tower, but she couldn't even bring herself to enjoy the sight.

"This your first time here?"

She turned to look at him and saw him sloshing the liquid around in his tumbler, a pensive look on his face. There was something about the air he was giving off that sad and lonely. She supposed she gave off the same air. She wondered what must have happened during these shitty couple of days and whether or not it had something to do with the pretty woman on his phone screen that was lighting up with a text message.

"Yes. You?"

"Yeah. It's nice, I suppose."

"It's beautiful. Hot. I love the ocean. I can't wait to go scuba diving."

He glanced at her and then took a sip from his drink, "Scuba diving, huh? Sounds like fun."

"Yeah," she shrugged her shoulder, running her finger along the frosty glass, "Not so much when you're by yourself."

She could feel him staring at her, a question poised on his lips that she could already guess what it was. It was obvious she was alone, now that she had let that slip. She looked over at him and smiled sadly, "You can ask me. I can tell you want to know."

He cracked a small smile but it fell, "Why are you here alone?"

Liv bit her bottom lip, suddenly feeling so low since she was about to spill this story to a complete stranger. But, he seemed willing listen, and she would be lying if she said the idea of talking about it was less than appealing, even if she didn't know this man and their first interaction wasn't stellar.

"I was originally supposed to go with my boyfriend. Had it all planned out weeks ago. I was excited. He was excited, I thought…" she trailed and plucked the little umbrella out of her drink, sucking the slushy, fruit treat off her the stick. She took a deep breath, "Then, two days ago, he broke up with me. Said he couldn't go on pretending like everything was fine. Already had half of his things moved out of my place by the time I got home from work."

"Jeez," he said softly. She nodded and breathed deeply a few times, keeping the tears at bay. She had already cried so much at home, she didn't want to cry here, where she should be trying to regain some sort of happiness. That part wasn't working, but she was easily able to stunt the flow of tears, and that was really all she could ask for.

"Yeah. We were together for three years. I thought we were going to get married one day. Now, I don't even know where he is."

They were both silent for a moment and then he cleared his throat, "I'm sorry."

She shrugged her shoulder, trying and failing to smile, "Maybe, it was for the best. Things had been stale for a few months. I should have expected it."

"No," he shook his head, "You never really expect something like that. To get your heart ripped out and stepped on."

She agreed. She looked over at him, seeing his furrowed brow and his thumb tracing the rim of his glass. Forgetting about her own troubles for the moment, she was suddenly interested in hearing his story. He opened his mouth before she could ask him.

"I got left at the altar on my wedding day."

Liv was a little taken aback, not expecting to hear that bombshell. He was rather blunt and bitter sounding, but he had every right to be. Left at the altar? She couldn't imagine anything worse than that.

"She ran off with my best friend who she was fucking for two years straight."

Ok, that was worse.

"God…," she said softly, shaking her head. She reached over and patted his forearm, and he looked at her with sad, glassy eyes. She was struck with how much that hurt her heart and she tried to tamp down the overwhelming urge to reach over and wrap him in a hug.

Her break-up was bad, but his seemed ten times worse. At least Brian wasn't screwing someone behind her back. Well, as far as she knew anyway.

"Yeah. This was supposed to be our honeymoon. Didn't want to let this entire trip go to waste, especially since I paid for _all of it_. Plus, I needed to get out of the city. Away from all the pitied looks and condolences and bullshit."

She nodded, not really knowing what to say. It looked like they turned out to have more in common than she thought they would. On their way over to this bar, she didn't think they would be able to stand each other for more than a few minutes. She didn't get along with most lawyers, and most lawyers didn't really like her style. But heart break could bring anyone together. She wasn't feeling so alone anymore.

"That's…terrible. I'm so sorry."

"Thanks."

Her thumb grazed the colorful straw sticking out of her drink and she nodded towards his phone, that had lit up again with another text notification, "Is that her?"

"Yeah. That's her."

"How did you meet her?"

"We knew each other growing up. She was friends with me and my group and we even dated a little in high school. But, then we all went to college. I kept in touch with Alex and Eddie, my best friends, but she disappeared. Then, about five years ago we reconnected, started dating again. Fell in love, asked her to marry me, you know the whole old story," he downed the rest of his drink in two gulps, "But, like I said, she was sleeping with Alex behind my back for two years and the two saw fit to leave me standing in front of hundreds of people, in a 2,000 dollar tux, completely embarrassed and heartbroken."

Liv visibly winced at the story and nodded at the bartender, who was making their rounds, gesturing towards his empty glass.

"But, you know, whatever. I'll get over it eventually. Sorry, I don't mean to rant or anything," he quickly apologized, realizing how long he had been talking. She wondered if he had talked to anyone about this before he left for Maui, but she guessed he hadn't if he was spilling everything to her like she had to him.

"Well…looks like we're both a couple of pathetic, broken hearted losers."

That got a laugh out of him and she joined in, glad to feel something other than sadness and anger for a moment.

"Misery loves company."

* * *

Rafael was actually starting to feel like a human again.

It was late in the day, his hair and his swim trunks were still wet from the ocean, and he was starving, but he was having fun, which was something he didn't think he'd be having on this week-long trip.

For the first time in the past few days he was smiling, and cracking jokes, and feeling energized. He knew it was because he spent most of the day with Liv, who was turning out to be one of the most infuriating, yet interesting people he'd ever come across.

He knew they decided to stick together, unanimously and without speaking about it, because they were both sad and lonely and were in similar situations, but he was glad for that. They were both turning their sour moods around just by being around each other, as odd as that may seem.

And, a bonus, between all of their small arguments and bouts of laughter and teasing each other, he hadn't thought of Yelena in a long time. It was a record breaking six hours without the woman's face or her voice or the memory of her touch drifting through his brain, and he attributed it to this new friend he made.

"I'm starved. Let's get dinner and go mock all of the happy couples in love."

"I'm all in."

She smiled at him and lead the way up the beach from where they had been sitting, watching the sun beginning to set and just talking. He hadn't spent so much time just talking to some random stranger before, but he was glad he had the opportunity now. Getting to know someone had never been his favorite activity. It was hard and awkward sometimes and he didn't have very many friends because of that.

But, with Liv, it seemed so easy. So natural. They got along easily, with some common interest and a lot of differences, and it was fun trading facts about their lives, commiserating over their harsh upbringings and even poking fun at each other's choice in television.

He found out she had been on the force for almost as long as he had been at the D.A.'s office, and that opened up the doors for shop talk about past cases and even some recent ones that they'd heard about in the news. It was shocking, that they worked in the same fields, not too far from each other, but he attributed their similar work experiences to them getting along so well.

They wound up in a little outside bar and restaurant, with tiki torches lighting up the dance floor and loud, island music playing in the background. They opted to sit at the bar again, and order the biggest drinks they had on the menu.

"Mmm," Liv hummed and swallowed her mouthful of margarita, "We should go on a hike tomorrow. Go see that volcano."

"Knowing my luck, it would probably explode while we're up there."

"Well, then it'll put us out of our misery," she smiled, tongue between her teeth. He laughed and raised his own frosty margarita mug, clinking their glasses together.

"Sounds like a plan."

"So," she started, "What did you originally have planned for you and the woman that shall not be named out here?"

"Not too much. We were supposed to go to this couple's hula session tomorrow. She said she wanted to learn so I buckled a bought us an hour session. Then after that we were supposed to take a surfing lesson. Stupid little stuff like that. Money that's going to waste."

"Who said it has to?"

"What?"

"I'll go with you. It'll be fun!"

Rafael eyed her over his own glass, "Seriously?"

"Yeah," she nodded enthusiastically, sucking the frozen drink from glass quicker than he thought possible, "We might as well try and take advantage of all the fun things to do out here because, let's face it, when will we ever get the chance to do this again? Plus, I think it's best we try and have fun and forget about our failed love lives."

He could agree with that. That was what they bonded over to begin with. And he did have a hell of a lot of fun scuba diving earlier with her. It took his mind off Yelena, which he was still surprised over.

"I'm not saying surfing and hula dancing is going to cure the fact that when we get back to New York and our regular lives, all of our problems are going to be there waiting for us, but we might as well enjoy the next five days together and do all the fun things we were supposed to do with our exes."

He tapped his chin, pretending to think long and hard, but his mind had already been made up. She was right when she said their shit was still going to be there when they got home, but they needed to make the best of a Hawaiian vacation and the friendship that had fallen into their laps.

"Ok. Deal."

"Alright," she high-fived him over the table and he laughed when she winced and brought both of her hands to head, "Ow. Brain freeze."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope you guys are enjoying this AU! It's fun to write and it's something a little new from what I usually write, I think. Let me know what you think! I don't own SVU or its characters. Enjoy!

Liv woke to her alarm clock blaring in her ear and a massive hangover.

She groaned and rolled over in bed, narrowing her eyes when the bright, shining sun poured in through the cracked curtains and directly onto her face. She sat up and rubbed at her eyes, forcing them awake along with the rest of her.

She had far more to drink last night than she had in a long time, but she couldn't deny having fun. Thankfully, Rafael was there to help her up to her room and get her into bed, otherwise she would have been stumbling and falling over herself, which wasn't very becoming of an NYPD detective, even if she was on vacation.

Pulling the covers back, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and swiped her phone off the nightstand, shutting off the stupid alarm she set before she got too toasted last night at dinner. The annoying chime was something Brian had picked out for her, knowing it was the only true way to drag her out of bed on those early mornings for work.

She needed to change it. She needed to change a lot of things, including the background on her phone. She had stared at it for ten minutes last night before she finally fell asleep, her intoxicated mind bringing back that painfully dreadful memory of Brian sitting her down on the couch, one of his packed bags by the door.

" _Hey, you're still up."_

_She smiled at him but he didn't smile back. He was on the couch, elbows on his knees and his lips straight in a grim line. She knew something was wrong almost immediately, and she quickly unclipped her badge and her gun from her belt._

" _You ok?" He didn't answer her, but he shifted in his seat and closed his eyes, "Bry?"_

_She was confused why he wasn't looking at her, but it all clicked into place when her eyes caught sight of the duffle bag by his feet. She stopped halfway and looked at him again, dread etched into her face._

" _Brian? What's going on?"_

_He finally answered her after almost a full minute of silence, "Come sit with me, Olivia."_

She shook her head and got out of bed, not wanting to relive it. She had plans with Rafael today and that was putting her in a better mood. She had gotten along with him better than she expected to, and it almost felt as if they had known each other for the longest time.

Their conversation was smooth, he understood her humor, they connected over the similarities in their jobs and their childhoods, and she just found herself having fun with him. In fact, she was having more fun with him than she thought her and Brian would have out here, and that made her incredibly sad when she really thought about it.

However, she would take going hula dancing with a total stranger over arguing and having to drag Brian around everywhere to do fun stuff like that. She got the feeling, though, that if Rafael had gotten married to this woman (she still didn't know her name, nor did he know Brian's), she would be having to do the same thing with him.

She went about taking a long, hot shower and dressing in her swim suit, jean shorts and a flowy shirt. It was comfortable enough that she could enjoy the warm weather and also strip down quickly when they got to the beach. She also opted for some light make-up and a cute up-do to complete her look. She was feeling refreshed and happier than she had yesterday, and she wanted to show it.

He was already down at the breakfast buffet with a plate of untouched food at a table, and his phone raised to his ear. His eyes were downcast at the table cloth where his fingers pulled at the fabric. He looked slightly upset, with his eyebrows knit together and she wondered if she should wait and give him space before she joined him. She didn't want to interrupt an important conversation.

But, he caught her eye and waved her over anyway, so she quickly loaded her plate with some food and maneuvered her way through the throngs of people moving through the buffet. By the time she was sitting down, he was finished off a conversation in Spanish, the words spilling out of his mouth too fast for her to interpret them.

She could tell it wasn't a pleasant conversation, though, because he crossed his arms and bit his lip, pushing his plate away little with his forearm.

"Everything ok?'

He licked his lips and picked up a piece of fruit, "That was Yelena…"

She automatically assumed that was the name of his former fiancé from his reaction alone. She picked at the eggs on her plate with a fork, "…and how was that?"

Rafael scoffed and viciously bit into his buttered toast, "She apologized eight times and I told her I was too busy to talk. Then she put Alex on the phone and he tried apologizing and…I may have threatened to break his nose the next time I see him and then I hung up."

She couldn't help but find that amusing. He didn't seem like the type to throw fists. Although, anyone could if provoked to a certain point. She hoped it didn't come to that point for him.

"Well, just forget about them for right now. We have grass skirts and coconut bras waiting for us."

That got a short bark of laughter from him and he pulled his plate back, a small smile returning to his face as he started to eat. Liv watched him for a few seconds longer, really looking at him for the first time since they met.

He was handsome. Very handsome. So handsome, she had to wonder what this Alex guy looked like and what he had that Rafael didn't. She felt a sliver of guilt deep down and looked away, trying to erase those thoughts from her head. It was stupid that she was feeling some sort of guilt for finding this man attractive when she wasn't taken anymore. She supposed that was going to have to take some getting used to.

She was _single_.

It was a term she hadn't used for herself in a very long time. She was always the taken one. The committed one. She was the one who's wedding was going to be planned next and who's future looked full of love and light and maybe, a child somewhere in there.

And now it was gone.

"-did you hear me?"

"Huh?" She shoved a strawberry in her mouth and raised her eyebrows as he repeated his question.

"I said our session starts in twenty minutes. We better get going."

* * *

By the time the hula lesson was done, which was hilarious to watch and be part of, and their surf lesson was completed after lunch, they found themselves sitting at the same restaurant they had been the night before, with the same big, frosty glasses of margaritas like the night before as well.

This time, they sat in the back in a booth, their hair still damp from the surf lesson, which had resulted in him constantly falling off the board and Liv catching waves like it was no big deal. He marveled at just how much fun he had with her, finding he hadn't laughed so hard in the past five years than he had in that day alone.

Maybe it was because the atmosphere was different down here, or it was refreshing getting to know someone new and different and actually getting along with them better than any old friend he could think of. Or, maybe it was because he was starting to find her quite attractive. She was beautiful, with tan skin and chocolate brown eyes, a contagious laugh and a smile that beamed brighter than the sun.

He tried not to feel bad for finding himself pulled to her, because he had been left at an altar by a woman he loved, and who he thought loved him back. There was no reason to feel bad. But, he did, and it was something he was going to have to learn to work past for a while.

"Ok, remind me not to order two more of these after this one is gone," she tapped the side of the glass and closed her eyes, savoring the taste of the drink. He wasn't big into fruity, frozen margaritas, preferring just straight scotch or whiskey, but they were delicious, and it was a nice change of pace.

"I don't know. It was hilarious listening to your rendition of Don't Stop Believin' last night. I think I may need an encore."

"Not happening. I haven't ever been so drunk before," she shook her head and reached for her phone in her bag, that chimed with a notification. He smirked and greeted the waiter, who sat down their food and quickly left. He was starving and eager to try something from this place, since they never really tried any of the food last night.

"Alright, you're going to have to let me try some of that chicken thing you got there," he pointed at her dish with his fork, already digging into the rice on his plate. He hummed in appreciation and glanced up at her, noticing she hadn't even touched her food or said anything yet.

She was looking down at her phone, tears gathering in her eyes and her mouth pulled down into a frown. He set down his fork and swallowed the food in his mouth, already guessing what had just happened. Probably, something very similar to what happened to him that morning.

"Liv?"

She sniffled and looked up at him, her teeth biting into her bottom lip as she set her phone down on the table. "Sorry…"

"No," he shook his head, "It's fine." He hesitated to ask, unsure if he should or not, but then did anyway, "Was that your ex?"

"Brian, yeah," she nodded and blinked, sniffing a couple of times to try and fight back the tears, "He...uh, he was just letting me know he left his key under the mat and left that leather jacket I bought him for his birthday two months ago on the couch."

He looked down, his appetite suddenly lost. Liv hung her head for a moment and he let her have her time, staying silent. He had been dreading coming back to his apartment in Brooklyn to find a situation like that. It had played out plenty of times in his head since he got there, but hearing Liv, his new friend, go through it…well, it sucked. He felt so bad for her.

"What a fucking idiot," she said suddenly, the sadness gone and replaced with anger. She picked up her phone, her thumbs poised over the keyboard. She tapped three buttons and locked the screen, only to slam it face down when she was greeted with the picture of them both, smiling like they were happy. "Why would he do that? Why would he leave the jacket, that I spent an entire paycheck on, for me to keep? What's the point? I mean…"

Rafael shrugged his shoulders, not having an answer she was looking for. Liv sat back in her seat and crossed her arms, accidentally kicking him in the shin. She didn't apologize.

"He's the one who gave up on us, you know. I'm the one who tried to make things work. I was always doing nice things for him and trying to surprise him and all he would ever do was mope around about how much I was working and not spending time with him!"

Oh. Oh, yeah. Rafael had definitely been there. God, he and Yelena had countless arguments about him bringing loads of case files home with him and having to cancel their plans all the time because he needed extra prep time for his cases. It really made his blood boil a bit just thinking about it, now that Liv had brought it up…

"I can't help it that my job is important and he doesn't understand that. I mean…I help people. _We_ ," she gestured between them, "help people. But no, he doesn't get that. He doesn't understand my job is one of the most important jobs in the world, at least to me!"

"Yeah," Rafael knit his eyebrows together, "Yelena never got that either. She would always complain about how much time I spent reading my notes and files when she knew just how important it was that I win. She bitched about it non-stop."

"See?! What's so hard to understand? That we're helping victims find peace and getting criminals off the streets?"

They must have looked a sight, sitting in the back of a restaurant, the sun setting behind them picturesquely, and they were throwing up their hands, angrily shaking their heads and ranting and raving so loud, it drew a few eyes.

They stopped after a few minutes, both of them silently stewing in their anger. He supposed this was a natural progression of what happened when you were dumped by your fiancé for you best friend on your wedding day, or in Liv's case, dumped out of the blue after a thirteen hour shift dealing with victims and lawyers and suspects. First came sadness, and now rage.

He wasn't sure what phase was next, but he knew it involved alcohol, since both of them had sucked down their margaritas in record time. Their food was still untouched and getting cold, but neither of them seemed to care at this point. They remained silent until Liv picked up her phone and stared down at the lock screen, eyes tracing over her and Brian's face.

"You know what we need to do?"

"What?"

"We need to get rid of their pictures."

He sat up in his seat a little and watched as she unlocked her phone. Her fingers twitched a little when she opened the picture library and hundreds of images popped up with his face featured in them. She glanced at him, eyebrow raised.

"Yeah," he slipped out his phone as well, and quickly opened up his own library, "We do."

"Do it together?"

He nodded and then, "How about a round of shots first?"

"Tequila?"

"What else?"

They waited until their waiter came back with six shots of tequila and they lined them up, three each in front of them. They slammed the first one back without preamble, and sucked on a lime wedge soon after. It had been a very long time since he had straight tequila.

"Here's to asshole exes," Liv raised her second shot glass and held it out. He clinked his glass against hers and slammed it back again, forgoing the lime wedge in favor of picking up the third.

"And here's to deleting their pictures forever," he said confidently. They clinked glasses and slammed back the third and final shot, both hissing at the feeling of it scorching down their throats. He picked up a lime wedge and shoved it in his mouth as his finger traced all the way through his library, hitting every single picture of Yelena, and a few of Alex, he could find. Luckily, he wasn't much of a picture taker, and it didn't take him long at all. Liv was waiting for him, a determined smile on her face.

"Ready?"

"I am. Are you?"

"As I'll ever be."

They tapped on the little trash icon in the corners of their phones simultaneously, and watched as both of their phones deleted the images one by one, until just a few images they chose to keep were left. All trace of their exes' faces gone from their phone.

And that was it.

* * *

Liv felt surprisingly good as she set her phone down and, staring at the few images she chose to keep. It could have been because the shots were working quite effectively, but she was almost positive it had to with regaining a little bit of her strength back. She didn't feel any remorse for having deleted the photos, and she supposed she had Brian and that stupid leather jacket to thank for that.

Rafael seemed to be doing just as well. He had slipped his phone back into his pocket and started shoveling down his food. It was possible he was an emotional eater, but she could be as well. Except, right now, she was feeling energized.

"Wanna dance?"

The suggestion slipped out before she had time to stop it, but she didn't wait for him to answer. She stood and dragged him out of the booth despite minor protest, to the dance floor, where other couples were moving against each other to the beat of some salsa music. She hadn't been salsa dancing in ages.

"Do you know how to Salsa?"

"Well yeah," Rafael said, leaning close so she could hear him over the beat of the music, "But I'd rather stuff my face than dance right now."

She tugged on his arm, preventing him from turning away from her completely, "C'mon! Dance with me! It'll be fun! We need to celebrate the huge milestone we just made together!"

She spun away from him and moved her feet, waving him towards her playfully. Oh yeah, the tequila was fully in effect. He smiled at her and after an agonizing minute of dancing by herself, he joined her reluctantly, pulling her close to his body. She choked on a breath when he slid his down her back and pressed into her, her feet stumbling a bit as she reached to remember the steps she had learned so long ago.

"Do _you_ know how to Salsa?"

His tone was light and playful but his face was close to hers and his voice was low. She could feel his breath ghost against her lips and a bolt of arousal shot through her body. She didn't let him see that though, and slapped his arm, spinning away expertly when he prompted her to. She landed against his body and took the lead, surprising him a little when the role was reversed.

Rafael, meanwhile, couldn't help but enjoy the feel of her pressed against him like this. He hadn't intended to be this close to her during this, but his body had thoughts of their own and he couldn't help but pull her close and run his hand down her back, slipping low enough to push the bounds of a friendly touch. She didn't mind, though.

In fact, she seemed to rather enjoy the fact they were pressed so close together, dancing like they were old partners and had been doing this forever. And she was really good. Very, _very_ good. He didn't want this song to ever end.

But, alas, it did, and the beat changed to a much slower one. She laughed and stumbled a bit when he accidentally spun her a little too hard and she plowed straight into him. He wrapped his arms around her, catching her before she could tumble to the ground.

"That was so fun," she said breathlessly and leaned back in his arms, wrapped hers around his shoulders. He swayed their bodies back and forth with the beat of the music, enjoying the sudden intimacy a slow dance always brought on. Their smiles started to fade just the slightest as they stared at each other, and that was when the unknowing shift from something friendly, to something more happened.

* * *

She woke up with yet another hangover and she decided, right then and there, as she sat up and the sheets pooled around her waist, that she was not going to drink that much again.

It wasn't like when she was younger, when she'd go out with her buddies and hold her own on the liquor. It had been years since she even had time for any of that sort of thing, and she was far too old to be getting smashed like she was in her 20's.

She reached for her phone on the nightstand to check the time, but she immediately zeroed in on the new picture that decorated her lock screen. It was a picture of Rafael, eyes glazed over with a flower crown on his head and two big pitchers of the margaritas they ordered twice more after their tequila shots last night.

She chuckled at it, unable to help that odd feeling of affection from cropping up. Last night had been so much fun and through all of their time spent together and the deep talks they had between hula and surf lessons, she felt like she truly knew the man.

Which, was crazy, right? How do you feel like you know someone so well, who was a stranger just two days ago? And why did he have the uncanny ability to make her smile, despite the fact that she felt like she was dying from heart break every time she saw something that reminded her of Brian? It was crazy to think that she could categorize this man, whom she just met, as her best friend, but she honestly could.

It was weird. But, not weirder than the fact that she was also almost positive that she liked him. Liked him more than what could considered friendly. Which was even more insane than her previous thoughts. She was just fresh out of a break-up, with a man she was convinced she was going to marry one day, and here she was, _crushing_ (God, that sounded so dumb) on another man?

That was out of character for her. So incredibly out of character, and she tried to convince herself that it was just because she was feeling lonely. They attached themselves to each other because of their shared situation, and she was just needing some sort of comfort.

Plus, he was a man. A very good-looking man, to boot. It was normal to want to rebound.

And she probably would have rebounded with him. All night long last night had they not decided to stop dancing and eat and drink the rest of the night away.

She was _this_ close to kissing him. Pressed against him, breathless from dancing…their faces were inches from each other and they almost kissed.

She nearly jolted out of bed at the sound of three hard knocks and she quickly raced over to the peep hole, seeing Rafael standing outside of her door with two cups of coffee.

"Same clothes from last night? You're doing this vacation thing right."

She looked down and groaned. Her hair was a mess and she looked like she was in some pain, so he wasted zero time handing her a cup of black coffee, courtesy of him waking up early, with zero signs of a hangover and having a keen sense that she wouldn't be feeling the same as him.

She probably didn't remember puking in the lobby trashcan the night before, but he wasn't going to bring it up. He just walked past her and into her room, glancing at the television that was playing the weather channel. Sunny and hot for the rest of their time there. Good. He had plans for today and she was coming with him.

"How are you not dying?"

She plopped down on the sofa next to him and curled up, her bare legs nearly in his lap. He didn't say anything about the proximity and kept his eyes from trailing up the tan expanse.

"Well, I only made it halfway through my second margarita before I decided to stop and you made it through the rest of mine, along with a third one. So…that's probably why."

She rolled her eyes and sipped her coffee, "Can you tell I've just been dumped?"

He nodded and chuckled when she slapped his arm. "Don't worry. I'm sure no one else can."

"Let's hope. I already feel pathetic enough."

"At least I'm joining you on that front," he tapped his Styrofoam cup with hers. That got a small laugh out of her. He liked it when she laughed. It was deep and throaty and it did things to his insides he didn't want it to.

"So, I assume you have plans for today?"

"Time to go see that volcano."

She ran a hand through her hair and grimaced, "Give me twenty minutes to take a shower and look somewhat presentable."

He settled into the couch and sipped his coffee, relaxing and flipping through the channels of her television. He hadn't had much time to watch much of anything while he'd been there, which was something he figured he would be a lot of. Funny how things were turning out.

Making friends with a stranger, who happened to be in a similar line of work as him and live in a neighborhood close to his? It was almost by chance that they happened to be going to the same place, at the same time, both going through terrible break-ups and mending them in the company of each other.

It was like the plot of some cheap, low-budget rom-com.

And, like most of those rom-coms, he was starting to really like her. To the point where, if he was an outsider looking in, he wouldn't have known he was just dumped by his fiancé on his wedding day. He had fun with her and she had fun with him and damn, he was so close to kissing her the night before…

He made sure to make a mental note _never_ to dance like that with her again, lest they end up doing something neither of them needed right now. Or, maybe they did need. The thought had crossed his mind.

The best way to get over someone was to get under someone else? Was that how the saying went? It was kind of trashy and it made him feel terrible for thinking that way, but the thought had been lingering, and it couldn't be helped.

He stood and walked towards the balcony doors, finishing off his coffee and staring out at the ocean and the palm trees blowing lightly in the wind. He briefly wondered if it was such a good idea to be hanging out with her so much with the feelings he was having. He didn't want to risk doing something they would both regret and have to carry once they got home. Neither of them needed this right now, as far as he was concerned.

But, he was enjoying himself around her…

It was a predicament he was not expecting to be having on this trip.

He turned at the sound of the door opening and he was surprised when Liv poked her head out. He could see her bare shoulders and the towel wrapped tightly over her chest. He gulped.

"Could you hand me my bag? I forgot to grab it."

It took him a few seconds to move his feet, trying to calm himself by the sight of her wet hair and glistening skin. _Shit._

"Thanks," she said as he passed it to her. They locked eyes briefly before she popped back in and shut the door. He bit back a groan and dropped down to the sofa where he was sitting before, empty coffee cup still in his hand.

It was going to be a long day…


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Warning! The end of this chapter gets a little spicy for the teen rating. Just letting you know. Also, big shout out to piakat04 for giving me these wonderful ideas! Much appreciated! Hope you guys enjoy this one! I don't own SVU or its characters. Enjoy!

After a hefty breakfast and at least three cups of coffee each, they set out on their hike, bypassing the expensive tour and deciding to do it themselves.

It was a beautiful trail, loitered with tall trees and sunlight. The beach was a just two miles away and the ocean air was fresh out here, as opposed to where their hotel was. It was unfiltered out here, away from the bustling tourist city, and when they reached the top, they would be able to see the ocean for miles.

Liv always loved nature, and often tried to get out in it as much as possible. Living and working in Manhattan made that tough, and she always took her vacations to the Adirondacks seriously. Brian never had been a fan of hiking, but he put up with it just for her. She appreciated it and had many fond memories and their travels there.

She frowned at the thought and tried to clear her head. She had been doing that all morning. Really, all the time she'd been there. Brian this. Brian that. She couldn't stop thinking about his leather jacket draped over the back of her couch, where he told her he left it. She wondered how empty her apartment would look once she got there. If he took any pictures with him…or that shitty chair he loved so much with the giant rip in the disgustingly brow fabric.

That would make her feel a little better. She wouldn't have to deal with that ugly ass monstrosity greeting her every day after work. She also wouldn't have to deal with Brian giving her that 'dinner was ready three hours ago' look. Her heart ached just thinking about it. At one point in time, she thought she would be greeted with that look forever and eternity.

Now, she wouldn't have to, and she honestly had no idea how to feel about it.

She glanced up at Rafael, who was trailing ahead of her. They were the only two out on the trail after they passed two separate couples coming down from the point. She was glad for the privacy, though. It made her feel at peace, something she didn't normally feel when there were a lot of people around. She always blamed her years of being a detective for that feeling. It was warranted sometimes, when she was walking alone at night, and other times, she had to calm herself down and remember not to be so guarded.

She reached into her pocket to pull out her phone when it vibrated against her thigh. It was Finn, asking her how everything was going. She cracked a smile and snapped a picture of the trail, making sure not to capture Rafael in it. The last thing she wanted was Finn questioning her on who she was with.

"Your ex?"

Rafael had stopped and was looking at her through his sunglasses. She shook her head and waved her phone, "Fellow detective. I've worked with him for a very long time. He's a good friend."

"Ah, friends. I've forgotten what it's like to have those."

She smirked at him and read the text that popped up on her screen, "Not very many?"

"Two. Alex and Eddie. One was sleeping with my fiancée and ran off with her on my wedding day and the other didn't tell me he knew about it for a whole year."

She winced. She knew he was still upset about it and he had every right to be. It made her thankful Brian had just ended it instead of doing something so terrible to her. She patted his back, "You'll find new friends. One's who won't do shitty things like that to you."

"Making friends at my age? I don't have the time."

"Well, I'm your friend," she smiled at him, nudging his shoulder with her own. He glanced at her and smirked.

"We've gotten along better than I ever have with anyone, that's for sure."

"Which is funny, given you're a lawyer and I'm a cop."

He laughed, "I'm not very well liked back at home by the detectives I work with. They think I'm too…cold. Which, I can be, don't get me wrong. I like to win. But, that's all they see."

She stared at him, seeing the frown on his face deepen the more he talked about it. He seemed like he could cold and closed off and the situation with his runaway bride certainly wouldn't help. But she could see that he cared. Somewhere, deep down he did.

"Well, they're wrong."

He looked back at her and cracked a small smile. They looked at each for a while, unable to break their stares until he cleared his throat and looked away. She felt a small flutter in her stomach and, instead of dwelling on what that feeling meant, she looked at the clear skies coming into view. The crashing waves of the ocean grew louder.

"Oh, it's beautiful up here," she said once they came to the point. There was a little guard railing just a few feet from the drop off the cliff. There were a few people scattered further down along the guard rail, taking pictures or just staring out at the ocean. She stepped up the edge of the rail and took a deep breath, the wind whipping the loose hair around her face and neck.

It felt thrilling to be up this high, standing over the ocean. For one of the first times during this trip, she felt happy and full and refreshed. Not even the fun from last night compared. She pushed thoughts of Brian from her mind and just watched the crashing waves hit the rocks below, the birds flying over the sea. She could see the beach from here, and the crowds of people wading in the water, and the boats trailing across the ocean.

"Want me to take a picture?"

Rafael took her phone and waited for her to pose so he could take a few shots. He smiled at her, but he felt a little empty pain inside his chest. For a split second, he could see Yelena standing there, smiling and laughing at him, calling him 'Rafi' and pointing excitedly down at the water crashing against the cliff.

They had both been so excited for this honeymoon. His job had gotten in the way of his personal life, but she had been patient and loving with him. She understood what his job entailed, and how important it was to him that he be at the top of his game in the court room and in the office. He wrote about that in his vows, that was still tucked away in the tuxedo thrown over the bed in their apartment.

Looking back, now he realized why she was so understanding of all the late-night work sessions and the canceled weekend plans so he could go into the office. He felt idiotic for not realizing it sooner, before they ever made it this far, but he knew he wouldn't have been able to fathom the idea that the love of his life had been cheating on him.

Which led to a distressing question, now that she had gone and ripped his heart clean out of his chest.

Did she ever love him at all? He certainly had loved her. Part of him still did. He was loath to admit that their relationship had started to decline and they were growing more distant over the past year, but he thought when he proposed just five months ago, it would fix things. She would get her dream wedding, he would go back into private practice and they could live a perfect little life outside of the city and try for a baby, like she always wanted.

It was depressing to think that while he had been planning all of this, she was out there sleeping with his best friend. She was in his bed, telling him she loved him, while he was knee deep in work at the office, trying to make a difference in the city they lived in.

But, with that question, came another one, that was harder to answer than the other. Did he still love her?

The other part of his heart hated her and never wanted to see her again. Years of his life spent pouring himself into this relationship and she just threw it away, all for a man he called a brother at one point in his life. The part of his heart that still loved her would fade over time, he hoped. And maybe that would be because his mother's words were right. Maybe, it wasn't love, but it was close to it. Maybe, the one for him was still out there somewhere, searching for the other half of their soul, and it was him.

It was a nice thought, but his mother was a romantic, and he wasn't. Going through this…experiencing this level of heartbreak at his age was embarrassing and painful, and he was done with all of it. He didn't want to love anymore, as dramatic as that sounded. It was true, though.

"Rafael?"

He blinked when he realized Liv was standing in front of him, her hand on her phone that was still gripped in his hand. Her fingers brushed against his and he jolted a little, dropping the phone on the ground. He cursed and apologized and they both dipped down at the same time to grab it, but ended up knocking heads.

"Fuck. Sorry," he said again but she just giggled and scooped it up.

"It's ok. You looked pretty deep in thought," she brushed some of the dirt and grass off her case and slipped it back into her pocket. "You want me to take a picture of you?"

He thought for a moment, and then nodded. He fished for his phone in his shorts and plopped it in her hands, "My mom will want evidence that I didn't just stay in my room the entire time I was here."

After they snapped a few pictures each, they decided to continue on in the trail that would circle back around to the entrance. It was nearing lunch time and they were both starved, not realizing how long the trail truly was.

This time, she trailed ahead of him, and instead of focusing on Yelena, he tried to focus on something else. He tried to look at the birds in the trees, but that lost interest rather quickly. He tried to focus on the pretty flora that decorated the forest, and the small little creatures that ran through the grass and the lizards that scurried up the trees, but that too failed to keep him entertained.

He didn't know when it happened, but at some point, he became enthralled with Liv, who had her head tipped back, drinking from a water bottle and talking about one of the detectives from back home. It was a funny story, and he pretended to fake laugh at the parts where he sentences started to descend into giggles, but it was all for show.

He couldn't stop staring at her ass.

He hated it. He hated that he had turned into one of those stereotypical men, who saw a woman in jean shorts and a tank top and zeroed in on her assets instead of listening to him speak. He chalked it up to the fact that he was trying to take his mind off Yelena, and he found Liv to be attractive. Very attractive, might he add.

Still…it wasn't right and it wasn't her fault those jean shorts fit her like a glove.

He wondered what the hell was wrong with her ex. Why he would up and leave a woman so beautiful, so articulate. He must have been a damn idiot. Of course, that was his thinking. She was a workaholic and he was a workaholic. They also worked cases similar to each other, on both ends of the spectrum. He understood where she was coming from. Although her boyfriend used to work with her, it was obvious he wasn't as dedicated to the job as she was.

All those things combined made him a schlub in his mind.

He was so lost in his thoughts and his eyes glued to her ass that he didn't even noticed she stopped and was looking at him until she shouted at him, "Watch out!"

The next thing he knew, he had pain shooting up his foot and he was flying, headed face first into a giant boulder near the side of the path.

* * *

"Why the hell would they put a decorative boulder on a hiking trail? Nature is the decoration!"

Liv steered Rafael out of the ranger's office and onto the sidewalk, her arm linked with his. His eyes were narrowed and there was a scowl on his face, reminiscent of the one he had on the plane. She bit her lip, trying not to find the whole situation humorous.

He had an ice pack pressed over the bandage on his head, where, lucky for him, was just a minor cut that bled a little. He was pissed about it, even though he should have been happy it wasn't worse than that.

"It had information about the trail on it. It was for people to stop and read," she reasoned with him. They crossed the street with a large group of people and decided to head towards a restaurant that didn't seem too crowded. They were both intent on getting a couple of drinks and eating a light meal, knowing they were probably going to go back to the same bar they had the past two nights. She had no doubt they would be eating and drinking their minds away again tonight, and she had no qualms about that.

"It's your fault you were distracted anyway," she countered. He glared at her as she passed by him to go sit at her seat opposite of him. He grumbled and she smirked at him, the next question on the tip of her tongue as she watched him drop into his chair.

Before he tripped and hit his head, she had noticed what he was staring at, and she was unsure whether or not it was because he was deep in thought and staring into space or he was truly taking advantage of the fact that her back was turned and she couldn't see what he was doing.

If that latter was true, she didn't know if she should be amused or a little upset that he thought she wouldn't notice. He didn't seem like the type of man to do that, and she trusted him enough due to similar work history. He'd seen the same horrors as she had, and she knew he wasn't about to take advantage of her in anyway.

However, if the former was true, she would find she was a little bummed. She had certainly been feeling an attraction to him, despite the fact that she was wrestling with her break-up, and she had been curious if he felt it, too.

In truth, she wouldn't feel upset if he had been staring at her ass. In fact, it would probably be embarrassingly arousing for her, given the fact the last time she had sex, it was while her and Brian were late to work, and she didn't even get to finish before they were needing to rush out the door. That was six months ago.

"What were you thinking about, anyway?"

The words were out of her mouth before she could stop it, but she did a good job of not letting her cheeks turn completely pink. She picked up her menu and unfolded, pretending to be more interested in the lunch specials rather than his answer.

She dared a glance at him and saw his green eyes boring into hers. He looked away and cleared his throat, dropping the ice pack on the table, "You know…things…"

She wanted to laugh at his nervousness, but didn't say anything. She didn't need to pry any further as to what he meant by that. She had a feeling he knew she knew as well.

"So," he said loudly and picked up his menu, "Chicken or fish?"

* * *

They went on a whale watching tour before dinner, and ended up walking along the beach after, their toes dipping into the wet sand.

They weren't drunk out of their minds like the few nights before, but they were feeling a little tipsy. It was a pleasant feeling. One that wasn't going to have them waking up with terrible hangovers and bad breath.

They walked for a good thirty minutes and then stopped to sit on the sand out in front of their hotel, taking advantage of the beautiful moonlit ocean and nice, warm breeze rustling their hair and clothes. He took a deep breath and sighed, feeling like he was never going to get enough fresh, ocean air. He decided he was definitely going to retire here one day. Leave the city behind, buy a boat, and live his days out under the sun and on the beach.

Liv shifted next to him, scooting a tad bit closer to his side and shivering. He smirked at her and she rolled her eyes, "I get cold easily."

"The weather is perfect."

"If I had a jacket, maybe."

"Plan better next time."

"Jack ass."

He chuckled and nudged her shoulder. She dramatically swayed to the side and then plowed into his again. They sat in another long, drawn out silence, but it was comfortable. Never before had he found that sitting beside someone and not talking to them so comforting. Just her being there was keeping his thoughts from straying to Yelena, whom he didn't want to think about anymore until he absolutely had to, which was going to be difficult.

He didn't find that not staring down at her picture on his lock screen, or being able to pull up any pictures of her on his phone, helped tremendously with that. But, what really helped, was Liv. Talking with her, strengthening this odd bond they formed from the moment they met on the plane till now. It was therapeutic in a way.

"Even though I'm freezing right now," she stared softly, hair blowing in the breeze, "I'm glad I came on this trip. I thought it was going to suck, not having Brian here…but I'm actually kind of glad. I don't think I would have fun with him. We probably would have argued the entire time."

He chuckled humorlessly, "Funny enough…I think the same thing would have happened to me and Yelena. We rarely argued, but she would have been miserable being here with me instead of Alex, and that most certainly would have turned into a fight. It's almost a blessing in disguise that she ran out on me on our wedding day. Saved the trouble of filing for the inevitable divorce and paying all those lawyer fees."

She nodded and tucked her legs up to her chin, wrapping her arms around her knees. She rested her cheek against them and looked at him, "I think it's fate the both of us ended up here, at the same time, both dumped by people we love. It's like the universe knew we were both going to be grumpy, miserable, and depressed and just shoved us together to make us feel better."

He turned his head to look at her, a smirk on his face, "Well…if that's what fate intended, then I'm glad. I would be drinking myself to sleep every night, in the dark, staring at pictures of her if you weren't here to force me to do all these expensive tourist trap activities."

"Ditto. I shudder to think of how big of an asshole I would be if I you weren't here, either."

The laughed and leaned into each other, realizing the fact that their vacations had been dependent on the both of them from the start. Truly, he didn't know what he would have done had she not been there. It was as if fate had thrown them together. He didn't have any other excuse for the insane coincidence otherwise.

"It's crazy," she whispered, holding his gaze. She sat up a little and Rafael felt something in the air between them shift the longer they locked eyes. It was dark on the beach, but the moon lit up the beach well enough that he could see her face and the way her teeth bit at her bottom lip. He glanced down at the action and felt a thrill down at his body.

"Yeah," he said softly. He licked his lips and leaned forward just a fraction. She took a deep breath through parted lips.

"Do you think you'll ever be over her?"

He shook his head, "I don't know. Do you think you'll ever be over him?"

"I don't know," she responded, shifting closer. His heart was beating wildly in his chest when their lips brushed lightly, hesitantly. They pulled apart just an inch, gazing at each other. He swallowed and brought his hand up, lacing his fingers through her hair and pulling her back to him, slanting his lips over hers in a true kiss.

* * *

He grunted when his back hit the wall of her room, and she cut off the words that were about to come out of his mouth with hers.

She moaned embarrassingly loud when he turned them and pinned her to the wall instead, their kisses passionate and noisy. She arched into him when one of his hands slid up her shirt and cupped her breast through her bra and decided she would need to be in a bed before he legs buckled and sent her to the floor.

She pushed back against him and somehow navigated towards her bed with their lips still fused together. She couldn't help but moan into his mouth once more when she crawled on top of him and straddled his waist, rubbing herself against him.

"God, I want you so bad," he whispered and leaned up to recapture her lips, his hands gripping her waist. She pulled back quickly, hands flying to his shoulders to steady herself. He looked up at her, suddenly unsure of his actions. She breathed harshly and tucked some stray hair behind her ear.

"Should we be doing this," she said between breaths. He didn't respond, and his grip lessened a little. "We're both going through really bad break-ups…"

"Do you not want to do this?"

She shook her head, "No…I kind of really want to do this. Do you?"

He looked down between their bodies and glanced up at her with dark eyes, "I think you already know my answer."

She licked her lips and settled her weight on him, groaning when he thrust his hips against hers slowly. He leaned forward and nipped at her neck, his hands sliding over her backside and pulling her to him.

"I don't want to think about her. I know you don't want to think about him. So, let's not think together, yeah?"

She loved that idea. She really _loved_ that idea. She nodded and kissed his lips again. "But…only for tonight."

"Agreed," he whispered and rolled them over, settling himself between her legs. She ran her hands down his chest and arched into his touch when his hand slipped between her legs and placed hot, wet kisses across her collarbone.

"O-or maybe the rest of vacation. Who knows?"

"What happens in Hawaii, stays in Hawaii?"

She couldn't help but laugh at that and a smart remark was on the tip of her tongue, but it quickly turned to a breathy moan when his teeth nipped at her bra. They didn't talk the rest of the night.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm back! Again! I finally have free time to write! Ok, I'm thinking one more chapter to close this fic out. I know some people probably want some smutty goodness, but I'm on the fence about adding it. Anyway, I hope you guys like this new installment! I don't own SVU or it's characters. ENJOY!

Finn was just about to dig into his loaded Styrofoam container of pasta when his phone went off in the quiet break room. He suppressed a curse but his mood flipped when he saw Liv's name on his phone and he quickly swiped to accept.

He had already planned on calling her later on, after he finally punched out for the day, but the day had been slow enough for him to even sit down and eat properly for lunch, so the sooner the better.

"Don't tell me you bought a house down there."

She laughed and he smiled. It sounded genuine and that was a good sign. _"I've been tempted but you guys would fall apart without me."_

"You're probably right. Amanda and Nick keep getting into it and Munch likes to stir the pot. I'm the only sane one around here. Doesn't help that Cragen is out on leave."

" _I'll be back soon enough. You should make a trip down here. It's beautiful."_

"Eh. Overrated. I'd rather head down to Miami and sit on a beach chair all day with cold beer and a beautiful lady next to me."

" _Big dreams there, pal."_

He chuckled and slurped up some pasta, nodding at Nick who waved a file as he walked by the door with Amanda, signaling they were heading out on the street. Munch had his feet kicked up on his desk and was reading a book. He was glad her vacation had fallen on a week that was pretty uneventful for them as well.

"Shoot for the stars as Iggy Tutuola always says," he said over a mouthful of noodles. "Doing anything fun before you leave tonight? You go scuba diving yet?"

" _Yeah, and whale watching, and hula dancing, and I've been drunk almost every single night."_

He frowned a little, "I'm sorry you're down there doin' this alone. Brian's the biggest dumbass this side of the planet."

She hesitated when she spoke again, _"I actually made a friend down here. He's from Brooklyn. Works the SVU cases over there. Small world."_

"He?" Fin couldn't help but be surprised by that, although he knew Liv was far from over Brian enough to even entertain getting with someone else. Their relationship wasn't even cold yet.

" _Yeah. He. Why do you sound surprised?"_

Although, the defensive tone was something to be examined. Or, at least, he thought so. "No reason. So, this guy…what's his name and is he any good?"

" _We made a pact not to talk too much about work lives and since we're on vacation, but I get the feeling he's a hotshot out there. Name's Rafael."_

Finn hummed and stopped mid bite when he saw Brian walk into the squad room, back to Finn but still recognizable. He stopped by Munch and shook the man's hand, talking animatedly and so unlike someone who was supposed to be heartbroken. He didn't quite look it enough for his liking.

" _Finn? You there?"_

Finn hummed and cleared his throat, "Yeah, yeah. Mario's makes the best pasta."

" _I beg to differ. Luca's across the street does. They make their own noodles."_

Finn stood up when Brian turned towards him and offered him a small smile. Finn didn't reciprocate. Instead, he closed his box and grabbed it from the table, keeping his phone cradled to his ear with his shoulder as he walked out of the break room. Brian said something to Munch and then walked towards him, mouth open to talk.

"Hold on a sec, Liv."

Brian's step faltered but he still crossed the room to Finn, who pressed his phone against his pant leg, hoping to muffle the man's voice. He didn't want Liv to hear.

"Is that…is that Liv?"

Finn stared at him, face etched into a stoic expression. "Yeah. She's having the time of her life in Hawaii."

Brian nodded and looked down at his hands, fingers playing with the cuff of his jacket. An awkward silence pressed on for longer than necessary before he finally opened his mouth again.

"I, uh, was gonna take Munch out for a quick bite. I was going to ask if you wanted to come but- "

"I'm good. Clearly. If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go eat outside. It's a nice day."

Brian looked a little taken aback, but he closed his mouth and nodded, eyes shooting down to the phone Finn had pressed against his leg. When Finn was confident the man didn't have anything else to say, he brought the phone to his ear again.

"I gotta go Liv. I'll call you later." He turned on his heel, Brian still watching him. Before he could make it very far, he made sure he was lough enough for the man to hear the words coming out of his mouth. "Tell Rafael I said hi."

Finn didn't need to look to see the man's shocked look on his face.

* * *

Liv ended the call and leaned back in the chair, feet still propped up on the balcony railing. Her stomach grumbled and she patted it gently, knowing the last meal she had eaten was early last night, and eventually, her hunger would win out over watching the glistening sea in the distance.

She closed her eyes and took in the sounds of the waves crashing on the ocean, distant music playing somewhere along the bustling street down below. She had consumed great food and numerous amounts of alcohol in the past week, and experienced most everything Maui had to offer.

It had been under circumstances she hadn't quite pictured when she planned this entire trip and booked those tickets. She had imagined Brian here with her, sitting next to her on this balcony, sipping beer and holding hands and enjoying each other's company. Fixing their relationship and committing themselves to each other.

She hadn't imagined meeting a soul just as broken and lonely as her, and sleeping with him the majority of her vacation.

She glanced behind her and into the room, smiling a little as she caught him turning over on his stomach, the sheets twisted around his legs and his head buried face first into a pillow. She watched him for a few more seconds before she looked back out at the ocean.

It certainly had been unexpected that sleeping with someone would be the balm for the burn she received with Brian leaving. The wound wasn't gone, and it wouldn't be for a while, she suspected, but Rafael had been a significant factor in soothing the pain she had come here with. She didn't turn her head as she heard him cough and the sheets rustling, instead, stretching her sore muscles out. They hadn't been worked this well in a while, she realized.

She grinned when she felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up at his sleepy face. He fell into the chair beside hers and slid on a t-shirt, hair adorably ruffled. She had been surprised just how much they had gone at it. It was an arrangement she would never have thought she'd take part in in a million years, yet here she was.

"Morning."

"It's noon."

"…oh."

He rubbed his hand across his face and scratched the stubble on his cheeks. Neither of them had really been outside of the hotel all that much, other than to grab some drinks and dinner. Most of it had been spent wrapped up in each other, trying to forget their broken hearts by helping each other out.

She wondered if it had helped him as much as it helped her. His break up was a hell of a lot worse than hers, that was for sure, but she wondered if this arrangement was the balm to his burn wound as well.

"When does your plane leave?"

"Eight. I should get there at least an hour before. You know."

He nodded and looked out towards the ocean. They sat in silence for a while, both caught up in their own heads. Liv watched him out of the corner of her eye, and contemplated dragging him back into bed again. Her spirits had lifted considerably over the course of the week, but the thought of going back to New York tonight…leaving this island and Rafael behind (even though he was on a flight out to Brooklyn in the morning), was daunting and scary. Going back to her empty apartment, seeing Brian's things gone…she wasn't so sure she wouldn't go back to that broken-hearted wreck that boarded the plane at LaGuardia six days ago.

She was afraid she would go back to her empty apartment to find Brian's stuff gone and she would break down again. She was afraid what it would do to her mind, her heart, her soul. Her job. She was afraid that no matter that amount of healing that had occurred here, out in the water or on the sandy beaches or in bed with a stranger, that it would all disappear once she set foot back in her home.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Rafael was staring at her, a sort of sadness in his eyes and she wondered if he had thought the same thing. What he was going to do when he got home to his own lonely apartment. Her heart ached for him and the thought that he could feel like she did.

It was strange, that despite the fact that she was still in love with Brian, that this man had wormed his way into her heart. Not because he was good in bed and had the ability to make her forget through jokes and stories and his mouth on her body, but because of _him_. It was almost as if they were drawn to each other. Liv wondered what would happen when they went back to the city and finished their vacations. They were in relatively close quarters. A few trains and a cab ride separated them…

The possibility that they could continue this little tryst they had going had entered her mind once or twice, but still, even after three straight days in bed with him, her mind still thought back to Brian. The man she loved so much that just didn't love her back the same. It was a tempting thought, but she didn't think it would work out between them. They would go about their own lives and move on with their heartaches on their own somehow.

"I'm thinking I want to go take one last dip in the ocean and hit the lunch buffet before I begin packing. Sound good?"

He smirked and nodded, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth. His eyes ran up and down the length of her robed body and she felt a flush of desire at the way they caught on her long legs propped up on the railing. She smiled to herself and stood up, untying the robe, a silent invitation for him to follow her back into the bedroom, leaving the ocean breeze blowing in behind them.

* * *

They had just left the hotel when it happened.

Rafael stared down at his phone, watching the timer tick away into the full minute mark, hearing the muffled sounds of her achingly familiar voice on the other line, calling his name.

It had been accidental. He didn't want to answer his phone, but he saw her name and heard the special ringtone he had picked out for her contact and he had tapped accept like it was second nature. Perhaps it was. It would be for a while. He felt his heart speed up as he brought his phone to his ear, and felt it skip a beat when she said his name softly again. She sounded like she was crying, or had been.

" _Rafi? Please, please talk to me."_

He breathed harshly and sat down on the bench just outside of the hotel. He looked up at Liv, the strap of her sundress sliding off her shoulder as she snapped pictures of the palm trees swaying in the slight breeze, and the ocean spread out in front of them. He felt like he was being swallowed into the ground alive just then, but she was happily snapping pictures, unaware of the crisis he was going through.

Not that she wasn't going through the same thing he was. Both scorned lovers, taking comfort in each other. He wished he had been thinking and ignored her call, like he had a dozen times over the past few days.

" _Rafael, baby, please talk to me. I'm so, so sorry."_

His lips curled at the words and he cursed softly, "Don't call me baby."

She went silent for a second after that and he heard her sniffle. He felt a strange satisfaction that his growled words were enough to quiet her. He felt bad immediately after thinking that.

"What do you want?"

" _Rafi…I just wanted to tell you how sorry I truly am. I didn't ever want to hurt you like this."_

He licked his lips, feeling tears stinging the backs of his eyes. He looked up at Liv, who was looking down at her phone. She was smiling, but it wasn't reaching her eyes. He supposed she looked like he had been looking this entire time.

"You slept with my best friend for over a year, behind my back, and then left me at the altar in front of all our family and friends. You didn't mean to hurt me? Are you kidding, Yelina?"

" _There's more to it than that. I'll tell you everything when you get back tomorrow morning, ok? I promise."_

"I don't want to see you first thing in the morning. I don't want to see you at all."

" _Rafi. I'm begging you. Just let me talk to you and tell you everything. I owe you that. You deserve to know everything."_

Yeah. He did. He couldn't argue that one of the burning questions was how? When? When he was working all those late nights? Did Alex bolt before he could get home? Those Saturday night book club meetings on the other side of the city…were those real? Or was it an excuse? He wanted to know, desperately, but he wasn't about to let her know that.

"I'll text you and let you know when I'm available. I have to go now. I have things to do. I love you- "

He bit his lip and closed his eyes, feeling the stinging tears returning again. He hadn't meant to say that, but he knew that that was routine as well. Telling her he loved her was something he did every day when they spoke; every night before they went to sleep or every morning before they separated for work. She was silent on the other line and he sat up, blinking a few times when Liv made her way back to him. She slowed her steps, noticing the rigidness in his body and he wished she wasn't so good at reading him. They'd known each other for a few days, and half of that time was spent in a bed, trying to make each other forget.

Yelina spoke softly on the other line, voice thick and trembling, _"I loved you, too."_

The past tense of the word 'love' was like a punch to the gut and a bucket of ice water dumped over his head. He swallowed hard and ended the call without saying goodbye. He could feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest as he tried to calm the storm of emotions brewing inside him as Liv walked towards him, looking at the pictures she just snapped on her phone.

"Ok, now I know they won't chew my head off for not bringing back some great pictures for them," she joked, speaking off her detectives, but he didn't respond. Instead, he rubbed his hands together and tried to keep himself calm. It was a little gesture, but Liv was a detective, and she spotted his mood change almost instantly. She lightly touched his forearm.

"Rafael? Are you ok?"

He nodded and sniffed, smiling at her, "Yeah! Yeah, I'm great. My heart ripping in two is one of the best feelings in the world."

She looked taken aback but was able to piece two and two together fast enough to understand what he meant. He saw her glance at the phone on his leg and bit her lip. Her hands still rested on his forearm and he was grateful for the contact. It was comforting, which was what he needed right at that second.

God, the woman he loved, _still_ loved, just confirmed that she didn't love him. The words weren't said exactly as such, but the past tense of the word love was enough of a confirmation for him.

"What did she say?"

He spit out a bitter snicker and stood up, pocketing his phone. He took off towards the beach, which was where they were headed before this whole thing happened. She caught up with him and got him to stop halfway down the sidewalk, amidst busy tourists.

"Hey, calm down. Is this how you want to spend your last day in Hawaii? Whatever she said to you, I'm sure it wasn't nice, given the fact that you're a nervous wreck right now, but don't let it spoil this. I'm leaving in six hours. I want to enjoy some time with my new best friend."

She nudged his shoulder, and he tried smiling, he really did, but all the tension that she had helped melt away from him was coming back full force in that moment. He stood rigid until she grasped at his forearms, prying them apart so she could step into his space.

"You know I know how you feel, Rafael. You haven't let me ruin a day here since we met and I'm not about to let that happen to you right now. We have six hours left together. Let's go have some fun before we both have to go back and home and face our shitty realities. Ok?"

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, doing his best to relieve some of the anxiety creeping into his body and mind. When he opened them again, she was smiling at him encouragingly and he finally whispered, "Ok."

"There we go," she smiled, but he could detect a hint of sadness in her voice as well, "Now c'mon. Your butt looks nice in your swim trunks and I want to stare."

She was trying, he recognized that, and he was trying as well now. She goaded him out into the water with her when they picked a spot on the beach and for a few minutes, he had mindless fun picking at seashells in the shallow sand. But it came to an end as they found themselves sitting in a booth at the buffet, picking at their plates as they realization that this was coming to an end.

Liv tried to make things cheerful, and hopeful, but all he could think about was that the woman he was still in love with back home didn't love him back. Lunch was over before it even began.

* * *

They stood silently, side-by-side, watching a plane taxi down the runway in the distance. Liv had her luggage packed next to her, and only had a good five minutes to spare before she needed to head to security to board her flight.

The decision to accompany her to the airport was made silently, and mostly out of sadness. What he would do for the next few hours before he slept and boarded his plane in the morning, he wasn't sure, but he was sad that this vacation was coming to an end. He would be back in the city in the morning, and he wouldn't have a place to run to forget everything that had run him out of there in the first place. The same would be for Liv, who wasn't lucky enough to delay the inevitable any longer.

"I'm gonna miss it here," she said silently, fingers scratching along the smooth surface of the metal bar leaned against. He nodded and looked at her. It took her a minute to realize he was staring and look back at him, smiling as well, "I'm gonna miss you."

He chuckled, "Me or the sex?"

That got a laugh out of her, "Both. The sex was good and it served it served its purpose. But, meeting you…really changed this vacation for me. I would have been stuck in my hotel room for six days, crying and drinking and shoving my face full of food."

"We did that anyway," he cut in, smirking at the memory of just two nights before. They had ordered room service and drunkenly ate pie off each other's naked bodies, because why the hell not? She cried for an hour afterwards, remembering some early anniversary with Brian, involving a similar scenario.

"It wouldn't have been fun, though. It would have been sad and pathetic and I would have called him a million times and made a fool of myself. You saved me from doing all of that. With your charm and your dick."

He blushed, "Well, we were happy to accommodate."

They stood in silence for another minute before she sighed heavily, "I should get going."

He felt his heart drop in his stomach and the small smile on his face went with it.

"You saved me, too. This vacation. God, I don't know what I would have done had you not been there to keep me sane. Funny, isn't it? Complete strangers, living just across the way from each, in similar situations, at the same place and time…"

"Call it fate?"

"Call it something. Whatever. All I know is…I'm grateful to have met you Olivia Benson."

The corner of her lip twitched and her eyes looked a little glassy when she replied, "And I'm grateful to have met you, Rafael Barba."

He smiled as she grabbed the handle of her rolling luggage and hefted her purse over her arm. They stood facing each other now, and he waited for her to say something, because her mouth kept opening and then closing. Finally, she was able to spit it out."

"Do you think you'll ever stop loving her?"

Rafael looked out at the runway, eyes searching the blue sky for an answer he didn't have. "I don't know. I hope I do. I don't want to love someone who doesn't love me back."

She nodded and he looked back to her, "Do you think you'll ever stop loving him?"

She shrugged a tan shoulder, "One day? Maybe, one day." She shook her head, "I don't want to love someone who doesn't love me back either." She glanced up at the wall clock that hung on the other side of the lobby and sighed, "Ok, I really have to go now. I don't want to be late."

He nodded and accepted the hug from her, closing his eyes and taking in the comforting scent of her shampoo. When she pulled back, she didn't pull away completely. She kept her hands on his biceps and his hands fell down to her hips. She searched his eyes for a second before she leaned in and kissed his lips softly, lingering there. He pressed into her, sighing against them.

She ran her fingers over his lips and smiled at him, "Call me when you get back into town. Maybe we can meet up? Get some drinks?"

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I need a few friends that don't carry guns on a regular basis."

He chuckled and nodded, slipping his hands from her waist when her hands fell away from him. She grabbed her luggage and turned on her heel, heading towards the line at security that was growing by the second. She glanced over her shoulder one more time and winked at him.

He winked back and waved until she disappeared from sight. His lips tingled all the way back to the hotel and the sadness from earlier seemed to melt away the stronger the sensation grew.

* * *

She looked at the palm trees swaying in the distance as the plane took off down the runway, lifting into the air.

She had been all smiles at the airport, but now all she could muster was a frown. She closed her eyes and waited until the plane leveled out in the sky to open them again. She licked her lips and looked out at the fluffy white clouds as she pulled out ear buds and her phone. She was lucky enough that the plane ride back wasn't full, and ended up with an empty seat right next to her.

She turned on some slow love song and pillowed the hoodie she bought from the gift store before she boarded, behind her head. She didn't fight the sleep that was pulling at her mind and welcomed it with open arms.

The last coherent thought she had before sleep took her was not of Brian or the empty apartment she was going back to in just five short hours. It wasn't of work or of the city she called home.

It was of the little piece of herself she felt like she left back in Hawaii.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: AH! This is it! This fic is officially coming to an end! It's a long one, but we wrap up the story and I hope you guys enjoy how it goes. I plan on finishing up Paraiso Perdido next, but I also do have another idea in the works currently that might get posted before that. In any case, I do not own SVU or its characters. ENJOY!

**One Week Later…**

It never seemed like it would happen, but Liv had grown used to living alone again.

It had only been a week since she came home from Hawaii. Two since Brian broke things off. But still, she was getting back to the way things were before he they started dating, and she was finding she wasn't hating it as much as she thought she would.

She had full control of the television again and didn't have to watch the sports channel every night just to keep him content while she ate her reheated dinner. She didn't go through wine as much, although she had been working on a glass every night, which wasn't bad considering she wasn't getting full on drunk by herself. That ugly lazy boy was out of there and she was quick to replace it with a pretty, decorative chair that brightened the place up.

There were things she disliked, though. Like missing the presence of another person living there. The left side of her bed was cold in the morning, properly made and smelling like fresh linens. She hated missing the smell of his shampoo mingling with the hot air drifting out of the shower and into the room. No more waking up to breakfast already made for her and coffee sitting next to a full plate.

Those things made her sad, alone on nights like this, but she was learning to get over it. She was back to work and her mind was occupied again with her job, which was too important to jeopardize by not being focused. She saved all those sad little memories playing in her mind until she was home, on the couch, feet kicked up on the empty sofa and a movie playing on the television.

Tonight, she was watching an old Harrison Ford flick. Just the right amount of action that she didn't feel like she was at work, but just the right amount of mystery to keep her mind engaged. She glanced at her phone on the coffee table, next to her glass of wine and contemplated checking it for any missed calls or texts.

She hadn't contacted Rafael at all in the week she'd been home, and he hadn't reached out either. Which, when either of them had the time or energy to hold a conversation, she wasn't sure. He was a workaholic, like herself, and she figured he liked his free nights just as much as she liked hers. Still, during this week, she had thought about him a lot. Many times, during her lonely lunch periods at work, she had thought about sending him a simple hello, asking how his day was.

For some reason, she always hesitated, telling herself she would do it later. But, later never came. Things picked up on her shift or by the time she got home, she was too tired to do much else but lay on the couch and keep herself from passing out too early.

Her thoughts were broken from the man she met on vacation by a few short, hard knocks. She furrowed her brow and glanced at the clock on her phone. She never had visitors this late at night, and a little anxiety bubbled in her gut as she stood and walked to do the door. That anxiety burst in the pit of her stomach when she looked through the peep hole and saw Brian standing outside the door, hands in his pockets and head looking down at the ground.

Liv swallowed and pulled back from the door, gathering her thoughts quickly before she threw it open and stared at him, lips parted, eyebrows knit together and a slew of emotions racing through her. He looked at her, slightly surprised, and then smiled a little, although it was more of a sad, sorry smile than a happy one.

"Hey."

Liv didn't respond, too busy trying to force her mouth open to say all of the things she had been wanting to say to him for two weeks now. There were things she didn't have the ability to say when he had been sitting there on the couch before she left for Hawaii, and she had had time to gather those things and come up with a speech she planned on reciting to him sometime in the future.

Now, she couldn't think of anything she planned to say. Brian noted her not greeting him and shuffled forward a little, nodding towards the apartment.

"Can I come in?"

Liv licked her lips and stepped aside a moment later, backing up to let him in. He didn't take off his shoes or his jacket and she knew he didn't plan on staying long, which she was fine with. This healing thing she was trying to do would be hindered if he did try to get comfortable and stay longer than he should. She would be afraid of what she would say or do to reverse all of the progress she made in the past weeks.

He glanced at the new chair and smiled. He knew she hated that godforsaken brown chair and that made her smile a little as well. He took to the spot where she had been sitting and sighed heavily, eyes focused on the wine glass sitting by her phone. She stood near the doorway for a moment, watching him, before she took a seat on the new chair and curled her legs underneath her. They sat there for a moment, listening to the sounds of Harrison Ford exchanging fire on the television before he spoke.

"How have you been?"

She shifted a little and crossed her arms, "Fine. You?"

"Fine. Still…trying to figure this whole living alone thing out."

She nodded. She wanted to ask where he was living now, but she didn't really want to know.

"Weird, isn't it," she said, "Hard to sleep at night, sometimes. But it'll grow on me."

He nodded, leaning forward to lean his elbows on his knees. He was getting ready to say something but she beat him to the punch.

"Why are you here?"

He looked at her and licked his lips, lacing his fingers together, "I just wanted to clear the air. I know I didn't exactly let you say what you needed to say before I left and I…I just don't want you to hate me. I love you, Liv, I always will. I don't want there to be this strife between us."

Tears stung her eyes, hearing what he was saying. She hated that he could see them gathering in her eyes and that there was too much to stop them from rolling down her cheeks. He dropped his head as she tried, in vain, to stop them from spilling. God, how she hated looking this emotional and hurt in front of someone who, essentially, broke her heart.

"You really hurt me, Brian. Coming home to see your things packed after I worked all day…it really sucked."

"I know."

"And to not talk to me first? Why would you just up and leave and not try to stay and fix things?"

He sucked in a breath, "Because, there's nothing to fix, Livi. We both know that. We could have talked for hours and hours and a week later, we'd be back to the same old routine."

She wanted so desperately to be angry, but in that moment, she knew there was no way she could disagree with what he said. He was so calm and soft spoken, and it struck her, deep down, that this was never meant to be long term between them. It wasn't in the stars, or cards, or fate and the sudden dawning realization rendered her speechless.

When she looked into her future, she didn't see Brian. She didn't see him at all. He continued while she sat there and stared down at the rug, lips parted and tears slowed.

"I didn't want that. You _don't_ want that. What would we do if we woke up one day, ten years from now, married and miserable and decided to call it quits? We'd resent the hell out of each other and I never wanted that with you. I didn't leave in the best way possible but I did it to protect us both, Livi."

Brian sniffed loudly, bringing her gaze back up to his. His eyes were shiny but he didn't shed a tear. He was strong and he would remain strong, for her sake. She found the corner of her mouth raising as she settled back into her chair, bringing her legs up to wrap her arms around them.

"Always trying to save me."

"No," he chuckled, "That's your job, babe."

They laughed, genuinely, and then quieted down. They sat in silence, looking at each other, understanding passing between them. Brian shifted forward and she knew he was going to get ready to leave, and she found herself ok with that.

"Don't hate me, Liv."

"I could never hate you," she sighed, "You aggravate the hell out of me and make stupid decisions sometimes…but I could never hate you."

He stood and she stood with him, meeting him halfway and circled her arms around his neck. They shared the embrace for a long time, holding each other as explosions sounded softly from the television. Finally, when they both pulled away, she found herself oddly at peace for the first time since he left that night two weeks ago. He smiled down at her and grazed his thumb against her cheek. She thought for a moment he would kiss her, but he didn't, and she was grateful for that. That was the last thing they needed.

"I gotta get going. I'm meeting a few friends for drinks." He patted her arm and walked around her, letting his hand linger until he was out of her space. She walked behind him, a small smile still on her face. He turned back to her as he opened the door and stepped into the frame. "We good? I was expecting you to throw things or try and give me a black eye. You're pretty calm. Which, is good, don't get me wrong. That's what I was hoping for."

"Brian," she stopped him with a hand on his shoulder, "We're good. I mean, don't expect me to ask you out to lunch anytime soon. We need space from each other, but…yeah, we're good."

He nodded and then grinned. He looked relaxed and happy. It was a look she hadn't seen in a long, long time from him. It made her feel instantly better for feeling so calm and peaceful about this all of the sudden.

"I love you, Liv."

She smiled, "I love you, too. Have fun. Be safe. We'll talk sometime."

And with that, he was gone. She closed the door to her apartment and that was that. With the click of the lock, it was settled and done, and she backed up against the wood and released the biggest sigh she could muster. Her body deflated and tears pricked her eyes.

Not sad ones. Relieved ones. Happy tears that she welcomed because she hadn't broken down and lost her mind like she feared she would. This was the best outcome she could have hoped for and she got it. She may have lost the man, who she thought was the love of her life at one point, but she found peace after the storm, and that was more than she could ask for.

* * *

When Yelena walked into his apartment, dressed in jeans and a blouse, with a ring on her finger that was bigger than the one he got her, he feared he was going to lose his shit.

He'd been preparing himself, all day. Pacing around his office, putting off work in favor of drafting up a small speech of what he was going to say to her when they met up. He'd thrown the piece of yellow paper away as soon as he finished writing it, deciding to wing it. He was kicking himself for doing that now. Before, he had all of his thoughts out on paper and seeing her now, shifting back and forth on her feet by the front door of his apartment, they were all jumbled and up in there and impossible for him to reach.

He bounced his leg and sat back on his sofa, swirling the amber liquid of his favorite scotch around in the glass in his hand. They'd been like this for a good two minutes now, and he was making it plainly obvious he wasn't going to be the first one to speak. She owed him an explanation, like she promised she would give, and he would wait all night if that's how long it took her to gather the courage to speak.

He wondered if she could see the hurt he was trying to mask. His face bore no expression and his posture was relaxed against the leather cushions, while she looked positively on edge and out of sorts. He couldn't deny taking some pleasure in that. She did leave him standing at an altar, by himself, in front of over a hundred of their family and friends, in an expensive suit and a reception and honeymoon that cost more than an entire month's salary.

He wanted her to know how badly he was burned by her, but at the same time…he just wanted to get over it. And he had been since the middle of his vacation in Hawaii. Sure, endless sex with a woman who was a stranger (yet oddly, the person he felt the closest to) seemed to help, but so had time. This whole week had been filled with work, and after-hours drinks with colleagues who were at the wedding, attempting to make him feel better. He spent the night at his mother's apartment for two days straight, in his old room, just to appease her worry of his mental state.

He had thought that once he returned home, he would grow lonely and depressed and not want to leave his apartment, unable to think of anyone but Yelena, and how happy she was with the man who he thought of like a brother. But, it had been nothing like that. He had been healing. But, this little meeting was threatening to reopen the wound. He cleared his throat and set his glass on the coffee table, choosing to lace his hands together in the space between his knees.

He looked at her, noting how upset and nervous she was. He felt a sliver of guilt, knowing his demeanor was making her feel that way, but he shook it off. He shouldn't feel like that at all.

"So. You're engaged?"

His voice came out a little rough, startling her.

Yelena swallowed and nodded hesitantly. She tucked her hand away in her back pocket and Rafael wanted to roll his eyes so hard, he feared they would fall out of his head. She shifted back and forth on her feet, biting her lip between her teeth.

"You can sit, if you want. I won't make you stand by the door."

She sat in the leather arm chair adjacent to where he sat. Far enough that they had no risk of touching one another, but close enough that he could see the dried tear tracks down her cheeks and her slightly puffy lips. She had been crying and the guilt he was feeling tripled in that moment. He sighed and hung his head, shaking it.

"Lena- "

"No, Raf. No, don't speak. Just let me talk. I'm the one who did this," she stuttered and sniffed, bringing her hand to cover her mouth. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, discreetly wiping a tear from her cheek. He forced himself to stay put in his seat, rather than get up and comfort her like he wanted to.

"I know what I did to you," she said after a minute, "I know how bad I hurt you. I hate myself for doing it. Always will."

She shifted in her seat and placed her purse down on the floor. He glanced at the ring and then looked up at her face, nodding so she could continue. The faster the went the better. She could leave, and he could go back to healing. They'd live in the same city, apart from each other and go on with their lives. But, since she was hear and willing to talk, he had some burning questions he wanted answered. Now was the perfect time to ask.

"Why did you do it?" It hung in the air between them. Yelena sniffled and stared at him with wide eyes. He went on. "Was it because I was working all the time? Did you just…not love me anymore?"

She hung her head and picked at her fingernails. It was something she did when she was distraught. Her answer was one word and powerful enough to make that little ache in his chest hurt that much worse.

"Yes."

He nodded. She continued on, "You were always gone and we'd argue all the time about you working and I know how much this job and what you do means to you, but…I felt pushed aside. Like I was sharing you with your office. I confided in Alex one night after you missed a dinner date."

"Why didn't you confide in me? Yelena, we could have worked this out. Unless…you stop loving me before that?"

She didn't have to answer for him to know that was why.

"Alex just…got it. He understood me. We talked, _really_ talked, for the first time in I don't know how many years. Things happened…and I just couldn't stop. Before I know it, we're engaged, and I didn't want you to find out and I'm so sorry, Rafi, I really am. I didn't want to tell you I'd been cheating on you for two years and I didn't want to get stuck in a marriage I knew was all lies. I didn't want you to find out one day, a couple years from now, and have it end in yelling and screaming and a divorce."

Rafael stood up and walked towards the window in his living room, leaning against the sill. He felt tears stinging his eyes and he didn't want her to see him cry.

"Rafael. It hadn't been working for a long time before Alex. We both know that."

Yeah, he knew that. He never wanted to admit it to himself, but he knew that. He told himself he loved her every day, and he did, but now he wondered how much of that was him trying to convince himself rather than his true feelings. Certainly, what he felt for her now was a strange mix of love, contempt, and sadness, but before? He was sure he was head over heels for her.

Now, he was second guessing he ever was.

"I know you'll never forgive me," she said quietly. The leather arm chair squeaked as she stood and the chains on her purse clinked together. He turned to his side, crossing his arms over his chest to look at her. Her eyes were red, and she looked grief-stricken, but there was undeniable happiness in her eyes as she looked down at the ring on her finger.

And he cracked a small smile at that. He loved seeing her happy. Above all else, that was always what he strived for her to be. Happy. Loved. That was what he tried and failed to do when he worked all those late nights at the office. That's what he was trying to do when he proposed to her. She may have broken his heart with the lying and the cheating and leaving him on their wedding day but…no one deserved to be unhappy. In some weird way…he was sort of glad she ran out on him. The hurt was going to be there for a while, as well as the embarrassment, but she may have just saved them a lifetime worth of misery and hatred towards each other.

"I don't deserve for you to forgive me. And if you hate me the rest of your life, then I understand that, too."

"I don't hate you, Lena." His soft words struck her by surprise. She had been imagining this conversation going a different, as had he. "Look, you did a shitty thing. You left me in front of all of our guests and ran off to be with another man but…" He trailed and shuffled towards her. He stopped when they were inches apart and he took her hands in his. He felt a tear slip down his cheek and not more than a second later, her body wracked with sobs. "He makes you happy. I can see that. That's all I wanted for you. That's all I want for you now."

She took a shuddering breath and fell into his arms. He wrapped her up and let her cry on his shoulder, her tears staining the t-shirt he wore. He smoothed a hand over her hair and grinned, feeling so much lighter than he had in the past two weeks. Actually, he hadn't felt this light in a really long time. It would take a lot of time, but he would mend. He would learn that relationships could be good. They could be wonderful.

He suddenly thought of Liv, like he had all week, and promised himself he buck up and call her soon, like he intended on doing after he got home from Hawaii. Of course, she was probably as busy as he was, and throwing herself into work like he was to forget. He wondered just how she was doing with her situation. Yelena brought him back to the now when she pulled away and smiled at him. He chuckled and wiped away her tears with his hands, smiling as she searched around in her purse for a mirror.

She groaned when she saw her reflection but put it away and smiled at him, "I am happy. I'm very happy. And I'm happy that…maybe, one day, we can be friends again. Because I don't want to lose you from my life forever."

"You won't," he reassured her. God, it had only been ten minutes and he was already feeling normal again. Hawaii (and Liv) had done more for him than he originally thought. Her smile brought another rampant thought to his mind and he was quick to point a finger at her, "But don't you think that means I want to see Alex. He'll be lucky if the next time I see him, I don't knock his ass out. You know I can do it. I've done it before."

She threw her head back and laughed and he smirked, looking down at his clenched fists. He let them go and tried to reign in his excitement at the thought of punching Alex. Eddie, too, but that was before he talked to the man just two days ago and settled the problem he had with him.

"I know. I have no doubt you could lay him out flat if you wanted to. Walk me to the elevator?"

He nodded and led her out, not bothering to lock his door. As they walked down the hall, she asked him about Hawaii. He knew she thought he got rip roaring drunk every night and wallowed away in his hotel room, but he convinced her he managed to get out, make some friends (one special friend) and enjoy the beach. She didn't quite believe but that was alright. She still felt an insurmountable amount of guilt and he would let her have that. A part of him enjoyed that she felt guilty, but that cynical, bitter part of him would fade with time, too.

"Thank you, Rafi. For everything. I know it doesn't seem like it…but you changed my life for the better. And I'll always love you for that."

She hugged him again and he let it linger for a moment, enjoying holding her one last time and then letting that go when they pulled away. "Go. I'm sure you've got things to do. A wedding to plan. Hey, don't go through Valentino's for catering, they cost me an arm and a leg. And if you invite me to the wedding, make sure there's an open bar so I can drink my feelings away."

She laughed as she got on the elevator and winked at him as the doors closed. And when they closed, he felt like all was right with the world again. This time, when he went back into his apartment and settled for the night, he would do so with a small smile on his face and ready to face the morning.

* * *

**Two Months Later**

"She froze. It's common. Her standing still while he does it won't hold up in court."

Liv rolled her eyes as Harris rebutted and Amanda smirked at her. This case was turning out to be a doozy and a major headache. Jocelyn Paley, the writer of an erotic novel detailing similar situations, gets raped, and no one wants to call it that. The thought made her roll he eyes.

"If we can even get it to court," Munch threw in, "Everyone's packed up and left after the scandal at the D.A.'s office. Who wants to take this case on with that mess happening over there?"

"I've got someone…," Harris smirked, turning off the security video. He turned towards the detectives with a smug look of determination. "Rafael Barba."

Liv's heart nearly stuttered to halt in her chest at the name. She must have visibly jumped, because Amaro gave her a weird look from beside her, but she didn't bother to glance at him. Amanda piped up, "Isn't that the guy who got those two guys convicted for raping a prostitute?"

"Heard that was a tough case," Fin said right after, but Liv could barely hear it over the sound of her heart beating. She raised a hand to her chest and tried to regulate her breathing. Her reaction may have been overboard, but she hadn't heard that name in over two months now, and having it thrown, so suddenly at her, was a bit of a shock.

They hadn't spoken since Hawaii. Not a text or a phone call. At one point in these past two months, she had gotten a little upset that he hadn't contacted her, but easily dropped that because communication worked both ways. Then, she figured, he was still trying to work things out and she didn't want to disturb him. Work had picked up as well, with everything happening with Cragen and the D.A.'s office. She was working overtime every week, and barely spent any time at home. Eventually, texting and calling him was an idea that was pushed to the back of her mind all together.

Which was normal. She was positive he was working a lot, too. Or, maybe he didn't think about her at all or the time they spent together in Hawaii. She wouldn't blame him if he didn't. What they did there was strictly meant to stay in Hawaii. But, she thought they had the beginnings of at least a great friendship. Maybe, he didn't see it that way. Or, there was always the possibility he had worked things out with his ex.

"…Liv? Hello? You in there?"

Liv jumped away from Amanda's hand waving in her face and looked around to see everyone staring at her expectantly. "What?"

"We're going with Harris down to the courthouse. Barba's in trial right now, but we can catch him after," Amanda explained then after a beat, "You ok?"

Liv nodded and stood up, giving both her and Harris a curt smile and going to her desk to retrieve her blazer. A grin split her lips as they walked out of the squad room and towards the elevator, and the butterflies in her stomach didn't stop the whole way there.

* * *

Transferring to Manhattan was the best decision he'd made in a long time. He smirked at the defendant who he'd just taken down about ten notches and it only deepened when the judge dismissed for the day and he was left with that poor, poor defense lawyer. He was a good guy, but he had nothing but a measly story that he had just stepped all over.

He clapped the man on the shoulder as he walked away and stood a little taller, feeling like a king in this place. Back in Brooklyn, he had made a name for himself, and he was doing it here. Day one and people already knew him, mostly because of his more high-profile cases that were nearly impossible to win. These past two months had been the best and worst of his life.

Moving here was part of the best and he was silently thanking Craig, his colleague across the hall for dropping the job notice in his E-mail just a week ago. He grabbed up his suit case and turned on his heel, intending to get back up to his office to get some more of his things unpacked, but he stopped and froze upon seeing Olivia standing there.

It took him all of two seconds to begin walking towards them, a smile growing on his face. There was a small on hers as they locked eyes. He had known the likelihood of running into her was strong, but he hadn't been expecting it to be this soon. But, he knew better. Part of the excitement of being here was running into her again, at some point.

He hadn't communicated with her since Hawaii, and part of it was his own self-doubt. Would she want to hear from him? Was she so busy, would she even have time to pick up his call or shoot him a text back? They were lame excuses, he knew, and he missed her. He missed her quite a bit.

But now?

"Captain Harris," he greeted, "Bring your daughters to work day?"

It was a lame joke and he wanted to burst out laughing when he saw Liv's eyes trying not to roll and her smile falling into a smirk. He kept his eyes trained on her as Harris introduced Detective Rollins, who he'd heard about before. He gave her a cursory glance and shook her hand briefly before he slid them back to Liv and reached for hers.

"And this is Detective Olivia Benson."

He nodded at her and sighed as their hands came to touch. The spark he felt when her palm slid against his wasn't imagined if the look in her eye was anything to go by. He knew they must have looked odd, holding each other's hand instead of shaking it, and staring into the depths of their souls. He could see Amanda exchange an odd look with Harris, but he didn't care, and Liv didn't seem to either. Instead, all he could focus was on her. She looked to have the same problem.

"Nice to meet you, Olivia Benson."

Her smile widened. So, did his.

"Nice to meet you, too, Rafael Barba."

* * *

**Six Years Later…**

The air smelled just like she remembered it and she took deep breaths of the fresh, ocean scent. It was mingled with the scent of food from a restaurant down the street and loitered with the sound of distant music playing on the beach and the tourists navigating their way around on the street below.

Hawaii was just like she remembered it the first time, but with a slightly different twist. The last time she was hear, she had been angry, and sad, and upset, and a plethora of other feelings she couldn't be bothered to accurately recall. Her time had been spent drinking and spending time with a strange man from Brooklyn, who also happened to be here with a broken heart. She certainly hadn't looked at this beautiful state the way she was looking at it now.

Before, she didn't appreciate the blue skies and blue oceans, or the weather, or the palm trees swaying in the light breeze. The mountains in the background were huge and wondrous and so was the culture. It was a beautiful place to be, and she was so happy to be back. This time, under different circumstances.

Two arms wrapped around her waist and she giggled when lips attacked her neck, accompanied by a rough beard and warm breath against her skin.

"Penny for your thoughts," Rafael breathed in her ear and she shivered, leaning back into his embrace. He still had his sunglasses on, but he had changed into a colorful, Hawaiian print button down that was more stylish than it was touristy, and he looked so relaxed, she wasn't quite sure it was her husband she was staring at.

Husband. Yeah, they were husband and wife now. Took them five years to get here, but they did. Married with a son and honeymooning in Hawaii. It was so funny how much life had changed in the past couple of years with this man.

They'd been through the wringer, that was for sure. Being abducted, death threats, losing a squad member, all the arguments between them were outweighed by all the good times. Winning those unwinnable cases, bringing justice to the ones who thought they were lost. Loving each other and making up when their words got the better of them. They'd been through so much together, it was almost unreal that they made it here, but they did.

Rafael had come and gone within the six years he had been with SVU. His leaving was sprung on her in surprise, and she would have still been angry with him for telling her nonchalantly over dinner one night had he not proposed to her right after he did it. This man left the only career he'd ever known just so he could marry her. 1PP and Jack McCoy not breathing down their backs every time she was on the witness stand for one of their cases was nice, but breaking in the new D.A., wasn't all that great.

"Just thinking about how tired your mom's going to be when we get back."

"That woman has more energy than me," Rafael joked. She chuckled and turned around in his embrace, lifting the glasses from his nose into his hair.

"Enough for a hyper five-year-old for an entire week? I may have to have Amanda and Sonny step in some days and take him off her hands for a few hours."

"That's a good idea if you want to deal with an offended Lucia Barba. I don't recommend it but, hey, he's your son, too."

She smiled and kissed him, letting the idea go as she scratched her fingers across his beard, "Remember when we were here last time?"

"How could I forget," he said flatly. There was no forgetting that vacation for either of them. "It was the best and worst vacation ever taken."

She had to agree with that. Freshly dumped and heartbroken and meeting the future love of your life at the same time? You couldn't even write stuff like that.

"Crazy how life works, huh?"

"Insanely crazy. I wonder if we would have still met had we both opted not to go on the trips. Do you think so?"

"Yeah," she answered honestly, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. She couldn't imagine not meeting him, but one could never truly know. "I'd like to think so. I hope we would."

"I could imagine us not liking each other at all when we first met and then slowly falling in love with each other over time."

She hummed in agreement, "And you would take forever to ask me to go out with you just like you took forever to ask me to marry you."

He reached down and pinched her on the butt. She slapped his chest in turn, "Admit it."

"Whatever, the point is…ah, never mind. It's too cheesy."

"No," she grabbed his arms when he tried to turn away from her and she forced him to look at her. He couldn't just say that and walk away and expect her to drop it. She secretly loved it when he said cheesy, corny stuff like that. She gave him hell for it, but deep down, it made her insides turn to mush. "Now you have to tell me."

He sighed and rolled his eyes, bringing his hands to rest on her hips and pull her back against his body. He rested his forehead against hers and took a deep breath, "I was just going to say that I think we would have found each other because we were meant to be together. Like…you're my soul mate and it just took an extra-long time and a whole lot of heartbreak to find you."

His voice was soft, so soft the wind could have carried it away, but she heard it and she wrapped her arms around his neck. She kept their foreheads together and ran her fingers back over the stubble. God, she loved this man and he loved her. More than life itself, like he said during his vows. She could never have imagined not having him in it.

"That wasn't that corny," she said back softly.

Rafael chuckled and kissed her, eventually letting her out of his embrace when she decided they had wasted enough time and declared that they were both starving and in need of one of those sugary margaritas. He followed her into the room and leaned against the doorway, watching as she picked up her phone and read a text message about their son from his mother to him, smiling at the picture that was attached to it.

Back, when he arrived here for the first time, he never would have imagined life would turn out like this. Married to the love of his life, with a son whom they both loved more than the anything, and a happy future ahead of them. Life had changed drastically in such a short amount of time, and that was ok. Yelena leaving him at the altar was the best thing that could have happened, he was now realizing, kick starting this whirlwind that he called the past six years.

"Babe, let's get going. I know you're starving and I don't want to deal with a hangry Rafa."

She scooped up her bag and slung it over the tank top strap on her shoulder, holding her hand out for him to take. He trekked into the room and took it, pulling her in for a long, soft, lingering, loving kiss.

"I was miserable, you know, the first time we were here," he said, and she nodded, patting his chest.

"So was I. But, what was it you said? Misery loves company?"

"And you're the best company I've ever had."

She rolled her eyes at his lame joke, like she always did, and tugged him towards the door. "The hunger is starting to mess with your mind. Let's go."

He let her lead her out of their room and out of the hotel, content to follow her anywhere she would take him.


End file.
